Another school shooting? Yes. Another.

We are all in the gutter,

but some of us are looking at the stars.

- Oscar Wilde

Over this past week, it's been difficult

to keep looking at the stars, hasn't it?

On Valentine's day,

17 children in the US (Parkland, Florida) were murdered. 

Gunned down by another young, crazed, angry, white man.

It makes me sick to my stomach.

An 18 year old in the US can buy an AR-15 assault rifle,

but he can't buy a beer.

Some teenagers started eating Tide Pods (don't ask me why!)

and now, Tide Pods in grocery stores are practically kept

under lock & key, so as to avoid another incident.

In most pharmacies, certain medication

is kept safely stored behind the counter.

The guns - oh, those are ok.

You can buy them at Walmart,

along with 1000 of rounds of ammunition.

Not a problem at all.

IT.

IS.

INSANE.

It breaks my heart to know that these children

went through such hell.

I have faith that many of these young ones

are going to channel their anger and fear

into something grand and powerful.

Lord knows the old, white, wealthy politicians

are too busy counting their money to care at all.

So over the past week or so,

I've been busy cleaning & organizing!

It's not something I do often, trust me -

but lately, I've felt the need to get rid of some stuff,

externally and internally. ;)

The photo above is "before"

and the photo below here is "after".

It may not look that clean to some,

but it's more than fine for me.

I bought this fabulous book last weekend.
An illustrated book on how we are all
connected to the universe.

Science and art, rolled into one.
Hardcover, and it was something like $18 (CAN).

I love the book.

Anything that encourages
learning and thinking
is a good thing.

Too many of us have lost the ability (or the desire?)
to spend any time thinking on things.
We keep ourselves so busy,
that we barely allow ourselves time
to think of what to make for supper.

And with cell phones now,
we are almost constantly distracted 
from our own thoughts.

Sometimes, when things get heavy out there,

or when things just don't make any sense to me -

it feels good to be reminded that we are ALL part

of a huge universe,

more connected than not,

and that even in nature, 

there is suffering.

So I didn't just clean my desk,

I cleaned the whole room,

and man, did it feel good once it was done.

And the best part?

I got rid of a LOT of books.

Like between 75 or 100.

That's huge for me.

I'm kind of a nerd when it comes 

to getting rid of books.

They just feel much more a "part of me"

than clothes or shoes or furniture. 

But I let them go with good intentions,

hoping that whoever reads them,

gets as much out of them as I did.

Besides, there's a time for everything, right?

Some of the books I purged had me thinking:

"why the hell did I want to read THIS?!?" :)

Ta Daaaaaa!

Both book shelves - done.

I like organizing my books by color,

but I haven't tackled that since the cleanup.

I'm visual so whenever I'm looking for a certain book,

I can always remember the color,

and I usually find it quickly.

Plus, it looks cool when it's color coded. ;)

So I did this (below) on the evening of Feb 14th...
I was (and am still) so angry about it all.

And I did this one (below) the day after...
still processing the anger and sadness.

Some people can talk about it for an hour,
and then they're fine.
They move on to something else.

Not me.

I need to sit with the stories
and the questions, 
and the words -
sometimes for days.
None of it makes any sense,
but I'm at least able
to turn the anger & sadness
into art that becomes somewhat healing for me.

I can only hope the families of those murdered
can find their own path
to healing somehow...

Thanks for being here!
I'll keep you posted here on my new website 
as soon as it's live!
Wishing you all a happy week!
xo

how art and Leonard Cohen heal my heart

hello everyone...

I am not a big fan of social media
and neither is this little bird,
even with the tweets. ;-)

This past Sunday was a difficult day,
but when evening came,
along with it came relief
that day would soon turn to night
and night into a new morning.

During the early evening,
I found my way to the blue room,
and played with paints and paper for a while.
(a great remedy for a sad heart)

If i was a doctor,
this is what i would prescribe to patients.
Solitary time
in a room with a view,
pens, paper,
and a box of Crayolas.
Maybe some music.
And some wine. ;-)

I was all over the place
with sketching and collaging and painting.

Like i had a thousand images in my head that wanted out...

Then i opened a book i had nearby
and landed on this page
and it was fucking poetic.
Don't you love it
when something comes together?
When you read something
or see something
or hear something
at what feels like exactly the right time?

Then i read this one...

What do i do?

i paint.

i write.

i listen to Leonard Cohen.

i count my blessings.

i see miracles in the every day.

Not in heaven,

but here.

In the every day.

i light a candle.

i pay attention to my breathing.

i walk along the ocean.
i read.
i remember.

i look at the moon & stars

and consider how minuscule i am

and how vast the universe is

and yet...

and yet.

xox

(what do YOU do?)

My ideas usually come not at my desk writing

but in the midst of living.

- Anais Nin

A few sample pages from my book.
Writing and art - my two loves.

My true stories -

and stories of people

who have crossed my path

and touched me one way or another.

i'm still struggling with putting it all together,
with adding pages,
still tweaking the text,
still deciding how to treat the whole thing -
whether i should even combine the words with art
or have the words alone.

It's never the writing that paralyzes me,
nor the artwork,
nor the book layout...
It's
the
AFTER
part.

Putting it together is a lot of work
but it's something i love doing.

The after part
still scares me half to death.

art in paint, in sand, in words, and in music

Melancholy were the sounds on a winter's night.

- Virginia Woolf

i've been away from the sketchbooks for a few days,

thanks to a migraine. I get them now and then.

Whenever i get them,

the world stands still for a few days -

but i'm happily back to the drawing table again. :-)

I just finished this a few minutes ago -

this is acrylic on paper...

there may have been a left brain/right brain thing

happening here...

I only noticed after i got the basic blue paint on there

that it was rather symmetrical.

and then of course, you just KNOW i'm gonna find a face. ;-)

These shapes just looked like eyes to me,

and a nose, and mouth.

a few added white dots, and it's done.

The hardest thing for me (as an artist)

is knowing when to stop.

Then, time for a little collage/painting

 a few leaf shapes...

added circles and acrylic paint...

 a few details...

Painting abstracts always helps me let go

of the need to know the meaning of the painting.

It's very freeing to paint something

that doesn't NEED to look like anything.

At least for me it is.

And while i was recuperating on the couch,

i read this book again.

I absolutely love the soft illustrations in this book

and the story is such a fragile one...

about a young boy (Hervé) who loses his father...

Such a gentle way to share an overwhelming loss...

I leave you with this 8 minute video on sand art.

Some of you may have seen it already,

but i'm sharing it anyway,

because i not only find the art beautiful,

but i love music as well

and it's a wonderful reminder

that art extends much further

than the pencil or the paint brush.

Art is about communicating.

Across the oceans,

across different cultures,

across generations.

I don't know what that song is at 5:05,

nor what he is saying,

but it's one of the saddest songs

i've ever heard...

xox

lessons in life and death

I was alone with my mother when she died.

It was by far the saddest moment of my life

and at the same time

the most profound and meaningful.

In one moment,

there was life

and in another

none.

I remember looking outside

only moments later

and wondering why everything

still looked the same

when they felt so different inside.

The sun was shining,

the leaves in the trees

were blowing in the wind...

life was happening

outside this quiet room.

A feeling i had had

only once before in my life.

At the birth of my now teenage son.

Life and death…

one overwhelmed me with total bliss

and the other with deep sadness.

life experiences that make us

and break us.

That teach us 

about vulnerability

and strength

and compassion

and pain

and forgiveness,

by giving us everything

and taking everything away.

By showing us

what it is to love.

"Yeah we all shine on,

like the moon,

and the stars,

and the sun."

- John Lennon

how books and doodles make a difference

hello folks.

A few gifts from Amazon... from me, to me. :-)
The best kind.

When i was younger, i was full of questions.

Curious about everything from

why is the sky blue

to how do we know to breathe

to why do so many people wear fur coats in church. ;-)

Mom would answer most of my questions,

but whenever she got tired of the asking,

or no longer knew how to answer,

she would simply say:

"c'est un mystère de la vie"

(it's one of life's mysteries)

So when i saw this book,

you just know i had to buy it, right?

Plus, i love the cover design. :-)

This morning, i did this quick doodle
with Sharpie markers on photo paper
and wrote this...

It feels good to write and draw and doodle.

It helps me make sense of my world,
the same way music does
or watching the sunset
or the moon,
or feeling the wind on my face.

Enjoy the day - whatever that means for you.

If you don't feel like being grateful, don't.
If you feel like venting for an hour, do.

In the end, it really doesn't matter.

As long as you're breathing... :-)

love to all of you...
xox