Monday, May 27, 2013

mother and child, and the fabulous Rodriguez...

mother and child...
a photo i found in a magazine that i thought was adorable.

i'm trying to paint a little more loosely...
I kept the same colors for mother and child.
2 browns and a blue. 
i love the warmth of this...
both dresses blowing in the wind.
As well as trying to paint more loosely,
i'm also trying to experiment with using different tools.
Like the palette knife.
 No goal in mind here except spreading paint
and adding pencil marks.
Whatever feels right.
And where art can NEVER be wrong,
anything goes!
That's the best part. :-)

What could be flowers.
A noose.
The sun.
more fish... (giggle)

And this lovely quote
forced me to add a star.
Yes, it's dancing. :-)

I watched a great movie (documentary) over the weekend.
Forgot to mention it in yesterday's post.

Called Searching for Sugar Man.

Loved it.
i love happy endings.
So much of life doesn't end happily.
This story does.

Check out the trailer. You might like it.
Thanks for being here.
I've had little time to comment on your blogs,
or respond to the wonderful comments you leave on mine,
but i'm visiting you and i'm so happy to see
so many of us making art
and sharing it with the world.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

full bank accounts and empty hearts

hi everyone.
Another rainy Sunday here.
It's been raining for days.

I spent a bit of time in the little blue room last night -
I doodled and dabbled with blobs of paint,
colored pencils, markers...

Nothing to write home about, but still - enjoyable for me.
That's what it's all about, isn't it?
Feeling groovy...  :-)
I've discovered a few things in the past weeks
that i had been sheltered from for the past few years.

I am floored by how many people out there are unfulfilled.

They have full bank accounts and empty hearts.

They fill their time with distractions...

social media
more shopping...

They've lost touch with who they are, deep down inside -
who they wanted to become when they dared to dream as teenagers.

What things are important to them in life.
They no longer believe in dreams,
or possibilities...

We all enjoy the occasional shopping spree,
or the night out with friends over a few drinks.

But i see something wrong
with a society that needs these things
in order to feel validated.

In order to feel worthy.
In order to feel loved.

The woman at work who needs the expensive purse
to feel like a somebody.

The other woman who needs the expensive shoes or
the yearly trip to a beach in the South.

The man who feels like a somebody
only when he's driving his new, shiny car.

There's something very sad about this to me.
Our society has become so focused on money,
and what money can buy,
that we've lost touch with the most important things in life...
the things that money can't buy.
The things that give our lives true meaning.

The sunrise.
The moon.
The ocean.
A smile on a child's face.
A hug. From anyone.
Support when we need it.
A letter in the mail.
Being barefoot.
The smell of flowers.

We've become so competitive with one another,
each one wanting to outdo the next...

when we all really want the same thing.

To be loved and understood for who we are.
To feel accepted.
I may love you for who you are
open arms and all  :-)

but never for what you have
or where you've been
or what you've done
or who you know.

These things never impress me.
YOU impress me.

... an instrumental song by MOBY that i love...

Monday, May 20, 2013

change, choice and peace of mind...

No, this isn't about a marriage proposal.
it's about saying YES to life itself.
Saying yes to making art part time
instead of full time.

Saying yes to a 15 minute art session
instead of a 2 hour one.

Saying yes to knowing that art will always be with me,
regardless of what i do from 9 to 5. :-)

As many of you already know, a few months ago,
i made the decision to look for work outside the home.

The whole business of making a living with art
became very disheartening to me.
I seemed to be struggling all the time
to make ends meet.

When the struggle overshadows the joy -
it's time for a change.

When i lost my job unexpectedly almost 10 years ago now
and made the decision to become an entrepreneur,
i had no idea what it meant,
or where it would lead
or how i would do.

But i knew one thing.

i would give it a damn good shot
and when it no longer worked for me,
i would steer in a different direction.
Here we are, 10 years later,
and i am steering towards a new path.

I have made countless creative connections,
i've worked with tons of wonderful (and not so wonderful) clients ;-)
and i have learned more about myself
that i ever thought possible.

Oh, and i've become more brave. :-)

Too often, we say no to change.

We don't trust ourselves enough
to be able to handle whatever comes our way.
We want to keep things the same,
protected from the possibility of maybe failing...
of maybe losing control...
of maybe making a mistake...
of maybe being judged by others.

I've failed at many things.
i'm quite ok with this. 
i think as a society,
we need to worry less about what others think
and listen to our own hearts for a change.
Be kinder to ourselves.
Viktor Frankl -
a man i admire, for so many reasons...

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing:
the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude
in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor Frankl

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

grief in waves...

You'll stay with me?
Until the very end, said James.
- J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Sometimes i think i've lost my mind
to make a collage with this stuff....

scraps of paper that bring back sad memories
of mom
but scraps of paper i kept -
for one reason or another.
hospital room numbers,
hospital phone numbers...
stuff that i should want to bury deep away somewhere
or burn in the backyard fire pit...
but i don't want to.

i want to keep everything -
even the bad stuff that reminds me
of the suffering.
Suffering was part of her life in the end...
it was part of our lives
so why pretend it wasn't there?
i may as well honor it
as i do the good memories
even if it saddens me to remember.

I almost feel like these little scraps of paper haunt me
until i put them all together in one place
where they collectively form a certain memory in grief...
And once it's done,
i breathe easier
in a strange way.

Some people have issues with hoarding stuff,
i hoard memories. :-)

Be good to yourself.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

big buddha, little buddha...

a little bit of art...

circles, and dots and more circles. ;-)

 a quick portrait with colored pencils...

i don't know why, but the portraits i do from imagination (like this one)
always tend to look half male/half female.

Not one or the other, but both combined.
 maybe it's the balance i wish we all had...
yin yang
 my little buddha man, watching over...
and the big buddha man...
jerry garcia. ;-)

Looking forward to more journaling this weekend,
and to visiting more of you.

i also have so many inspiring things i want to share with you all.
See you all again soon.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

old paintings, new jobs, and music

hello friends.
I've missed you all.

i am posting this very quickly tonight
to let you all know i'm still alive...

lots of changes for me here lately...

After days and nights of thinking about it,
and writing about it, and analyzing and discussing...
i finally made the decision to get myself a job outside the home.

So now, there's much less time to make art (and blog!)

After 8 years of working alone in my studio at home
doing a combination of graphic design, illustration, and art...
I needed a change.

There's truth to the saying:
too much of a good thing isn't always good.

It's certainly an adjustment for me,
but I know i've made the right decision.

And it's a temporary position (until September)...
something else i find very comforting. 

I suspect i'll be a crazy woman with the paints on the weekend,
so brace yourself for another post come Sunday. (giggle...)

You know that feeling when you really wanna do something,
and you can't because you just don't have the time,
so you store that extra little "wanting" inside
until you get the chance to unleash it?

Yeah, that's how i'm feeling right now about art. 

These are all old paintings of mine...

The one on the left is a dry pastel painting i did of my son when he was young...

and the one on the right is an acrylic painting on canvas of my father in law,
helping us plant potatoes in our garden. 

He lived till the ripe old age of 99...

I have a ton of old paintings hanging around the house
that i'd love to set free soon.

i don't like hanging on to paintings,
and several of these have been with me far too long now.

Not sure how i'm going to do it,
but i'm feeling the need to clear space
so i can make room for more. :-)
I'll let you all know what i decide to do with them.

I plan on catching up with your blogs this weekend.
eeeeeeeeeeek!! i can't wait!

I'll be back this weekend sometime.
Hoping you're all keeping your heads above the water.

A few videos for you...(that i may, or may not have already posted!?)
(Sia has ants in her pants, but i love her)

love and lollipops... xox

a beautiful song by Don Mclean with the wonderful paintings of Van Gogh

the fabulous Mariza... 
the first time i heard this song on the radio,
i had to pull over the car so i could catch my breath
and cry without having an accident. ;-)

i have no idea what she's singing about,
but it doesn't matter, does it?
Music touches the heart
without language.

...and the lovely Sia...
unable to sit still for more than 10 seconds. ;-)

and Coldplay... 
not sure why this song makes me feel good,
but it always does.