Sunday, February 18, 2018

Another school shooting? Yes. Another.

We are all in the gutter,
but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
Over this past week, it's been difficult
to keep looking at the stars, hasn't it?

On Valentine's day,
17 children in the US (Parkland, Florida) were murdered. 

Gunned down by another young, crazed, angry, white man.

It makes me sick to my stomach.

An 18 year old in the US can buy an AR-15 assault rifle,
but he can't buy a beer.

Some teenagers started eating Tide Pods (don't ask me why!)
and now, Tide Pods in grocery stores are practically kept
under lock & key, so as to avoid another incident.

In most pharmacies, certain medication
is kept safely stored behind the counter.

The guns - oh, those are ok.
You can buy them at Walmart,
along with 1000 of rounds of ammunition.
Not a problem at all.


It breaks my heart to know that these children
went through such hell.

I have faith that many of these young ones
are going to channel their anger and fear
into something grand and powerful.

Lord knows the old, white, wealthy politicians
are too busy counting their money to care at all.

So over the past week or so,
I've been busy cleaning & organizing!
It's not something I do often, trust me -
but lately, I've felt the need to get rid of some stuff,
externally and internally. ;)

The photo above is "before"
and the photo below here is "after".
It may not look that clean to some,
but it's more than fine for me.

I bought this fabulous book last weekend.
An illustrated book on how we are all
connected to the universe.

Science and art, rolled into one.
Hardcover, and it was something like $18 (CAN).
I love the book.
Anything that encourages
learning and thinking
is a good thing.

Too many of us have lost the ability (or the desire?)
to spend any time thinking on things.
We keep ourselves so busy,
that we barely allow ourselves time
to think of what to make for supper.

And with cell phones now,
we are almost constantly distracted 
from our own thoughts.

Sometimes, when things get heavy out there,
or when things just don't make any sense to me -
it feels good to be reminded that we are ALL part
of a huge universe,
more connected than not,
and that even in nature, 
there is suffering.

So I didn't just clean my desk,
I cleaned the whole room,
and man, did it feel good once it was done.
And the best part?
I got rid of a LOT of books.
Like between 75 or 100.
That's huge for me.
I'm kind of a nerd when it comes 
to getting rid of books.

They just feel much more a "part of me"
than clothes or shoes or furniture. 
But I let them go with good intentions,
hoping that whoever reads them,
gets as much out of them as I did.

Besides, there's a time for everything, right?
Some of the books I purged had me thinking:

"why the hell did I want to read THIS?!?" :)
Ta Daaaaaa!
Both book shelves - done.

I like organizing my books by color,
but I haven't tackled that since the cleanup.
I'm visual so whenever I'm looking for a certain book,
I can always remember the color,
and I usually find it quickly.

Plus, it looks cool when it's color coded. ;)

So I did this (below) on the evening of Feb 14th...
I was (and am still) so angry about it all.

And I did this one (below) the day after...
still processing the anger and sadness.

Some people can talk about it for an hour,
and then they're fine.
They move on to something else.

Not me.

I need to sit with the stories
and the questions, 
and the words -
sometimes for days.
None of it makes any sense,
but I'm at least able
to turn the anger & sadness
into art that becomes somewhat healing for me.

I can only hope the families of those murdered
can find their own path
to healing somehow...

Thanks for being here!
I'll keep you posted here on my new website 
as soon as it's live!
Wishing you all a happy week!


  1. Yes the our country and the world is upside down. I like what you have done with your space. Looks good. Yes let us know when you website goes live.

  2. I agree, things are not as they should be. I've been an educator for 27 years and have recently heard our students saying that they are afraid to be at school. Our kids shouldn't live in fear when they are learning in what should be a safe space.

    Your space looks fantastic! As a teacher/librarian I can totally understand the collection of books. It's so hard to get rid of any!

    Looking forward to seeing your website!

  3. Dear Pauline. I've said this before and I'll say it again, you put my thoughts into your words! I don't know how you do it but your post resonates with each fiber of my being.
    Like you, news such as this one haunts me for a very long time. I have stopped watching or listening to live news for more than a year now. I get to hear it later anyway--there's no escaping it. The questions you raise all hang so tangibly above us all--how the policy makers can't see them is beyond me.
    "And with cell phones now,
    we are almost constantly distracted
    from our own thoughts."
    Yet another reason to de-plug and de-connect from the constant ON-ness of this world.

    Your desk and room look soooo tidy. Colour coding--I like the idea of it. And the books look good standing in those shelves showing off their rainbow spines.

    Looking forward to your website.

    Hugs. xx

  4. I love it how you can express your emotions so beautifully in paint Pauline. And in words! Yes, the mass shootings in the US are insane. I cannot believe that any sane person doesn't see the connection between the ease of getting weapons there and the mass shootings. I mean, just look at the statistics. And then Trump's solution is to arm teachers. I cannot even express how ridiculous I find this idea. And then to think that loads of people agree with him. But those students give me hope. They are so determined, I just hope that those nuts with their conspiracy theories don't get to them. That illustrated book you bought looks great. You always seem to find these interesting books. I'd love to have a look through it. Wishing you a lighter week this week dear Pauline. Hugs to you xx