Friday, January 11, 2013

lessons in life and death

I was alone with my mother when she died.

It was by far the saddest moment of my life
and at the same time
the most profound and meaningful.

In one moment,
there was life
and in another

I remember looking outside
only moments later
and wondering why everything
still looked the same
when they felt so different inside.

The sun was shining,
the leaves in the trees
were blowing in the wind...

life was happening
outside this quiet room.

A feeling i had had
only once before in my life.

At the birth of my now teenage son.

Life and death…

one overwhelmed me with total bliss
and the other with deep sadness.

life experiences that make us
and break us.

That teach us 
about vulnerability
and strength
and compassion
and pain
and forgiveness,
by giving us everything
and taking everything away.

By showing us
what it is to love.

"Yeah we all shine on,
like the moon,
and the stars,
and the sun."
- John Lennon


  1. A very emotional post which really tugged at my heart strings as have shared this experience. Beautiful and thoughtful artwork. Happy PPF, Annette x

  2. Beautifully and powerfully expressed . . .

  3. Beautiful. You are a sensitive person...I am too. I was the last one my father spoke to before he died. Two words I will forever hold dear to my heart. And yes, when he was gone that evening, I tried to understand how everything around me still seemed to keep on going the way it was...when everything had just changed so much...for me. A hug is being sent to you, from me, Pauline.

  4. (((hugs))) and you are not alone
    Stay inspired!

  5. Again the tears flow...I know this feeling well... Poignant art and words my deep, rich and authentic.

    Big hugs for your grief......sigh


  6. Such a gorgeous rendering of emotion. I cherish your honesty and your courage is great comfort...

    I like to think that it was meaningful, too, for your mother, having you there...

    love & a big hug for you

    and such a painting... oh my!!

  7. This past October I had the experience of watching my mom die slowly over four days - it was heart wrenching. So I too send you hugs - and think your portrait is lovely and filled with emotion.

  8. Great, this lady is very strong both in its position and in its look. Saludos

  9. Aww Pauline, now you've made me cry! This is an incredible post, it shows great loss and great love. My heart & thoughts are with you xxx

  10. You have so beautifully written Pauline, it really touches me ... The drawing fits very nicely with. Especially how you know to appoint the beauty of such drastic event. Life is so double ... Thank you for sharing. Warm hug, Inge

  11. Big, teary hugs to you my friend. I'm sorry I have no words to comfort. I hope your beautiful painting did that for you xxxx

  12. My words will never exress how deeply your words and your art have both touched me and echoed my own feelings. Thank you.

  13. such a beautiful post and painting!!! xoxo

  14. Such a powerful and emotional post full of great words and art. My heart was moved. Sending you tons of love.

  15. What a touching and emotional post Pauline. Eloquently said. Beautiful painting. Love and hugs.

  16. Pauline,
    I am so very sorry for your loss.
    Your post is so painfully true; it is almost dumbfounding the way life goes on when we experience loss.
    Please know that I've been keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, and am so grateful we've met through Paint Party Friday.


  17. A very emotional post which tugs at the heartstrings and prickles the tears to start.

  18. Very poignant and true post. I'm so sorry for your loss. Beautiful painting. <3

  19. There's nothing I can say which somebody else hasn't already said (and probably more eloquently), but this is a beautiful moving post. x

  20. Thank you! Beautifully put in art and word. HPPF!

  21. thank you all so much... WARM hugs to all of you. xox

  22. Hi, Pauline, so sorry for your loss. What lovely, lovely words here and what a lovely image. Thank you for sharing this with the world. Beautiful.

  23. A beautifully expressed post, written and felt from the heart, as is the painting - from the sadness emerges strength, new insights, deeper wisdom than before. Hold on to that deep love and bond you and your beloved mother shared - it will keep you strong, even though accompanied by the deep, profound sadness that you feeling now. Your mother, and your love for each other will always be there. I know this from my beloved father's death, 15 years ago. He is still with me. Very close to me. His spirit, his love, and the bond we shared help me get through the sadness and the loss. I wish this for you, too.