Another school shooting? Yes. Another.

We are all in the gutter,

but some of us are looking at the stars.

- Oscar Wilde

Over this past week, it's been difficult

to keep looking at the stars, hasn't it?

On Valentine's day,

17 children in the US (Parkland, Florida) were murdered. 

Gunned down by another young, crazed, angry, white man.

It makes me sick to my stomach.

An 18 year old in the US can buy an AR-15 assault rifle,

but he can't buy a beer.

Some teenagers started eating Tide Pods (don't ask me why!)

and now, Tide Pods in grocery stores are practically kept

under lock & key, so as to avoid another incident.

In most pharmacies, certain medication

is kept safely stored behind the counter.

The guns - oh, those are ok.

You can buy them at Walmart,

along with 1000 of rounds of ammunition.

Not a problem at all.

IT.

IS.

INSANE.

It breaks my heart to know that these children

went through such hell.

I have faith that many of these young ones

are going to channel their anger and fear

into something grand and powerful.

Lord knows the old, white, wealthy politicians

are too busy counting their money to care at all.

So over the past week or so,

I've been busy cleaning & organizing!

It's not something I do often, trust me -

but lately, I've felt the need to get rid of some stuff,

externally and internally. ;)

The photo above is "before"

and the photo below here is "after".

It may not look that clean to some,

but it's more than fine for me.

I bought this fabulous book last weekend.
An illustrated book on how we are all
connected to the universe.

Science and art, rolled into one.
Hardcover, and it was something like $18 (CAN).

I love the book.

Anything that encourages
learning and thinking
is a good thing.

Too many of us have lost the ability (or the desire?)
to spend any time thinking on things.
We keep ourselves so busy,
that we barely allow ourselves time
to think of what to make for supper.

And with cell phones now,
we are almost constantly distracted 
from our own thoughts.

Sometimes, when things get heavy out there,

or when things just don't make any sense to me -

it feels good to be reminded that we are ALL part

of a huge universe,

more connected than not,

and that even in nature, 

there is suffering.

So I didn't just clean my desk,

I cleaned the whole room,

and man, did it feel good once it was done.

And the best part?

I got rid of a LOT of books.

Like between 75 or 100.

That's huge for me.

I'm kind of a nerd when it comes 

to getting rid of books.

They just feel much more a "part of me"

than clothes or shoes or furniture. 

But I let them go with good intentions,

hoping that whoever reads them,

gets as much out of them as I did.

Besides, there's a time for everything, right?

Some of the books I purged had me thinking:

"why the hell did I want to read THIS?!?" :)

Ta Daaaaaa!

Both book shelves - done.

I like organizing my books by color,

but I haven't tackled that since the cleanup.

I'm visual so whenever I'm looking for a certain book,

I can always remember the color,

and I usually find it quickly.

Plus, it looks cool when it's color coded. ;)

So I did this (below) on the evening of Feb 14th...
I was (and am still) so angry about it all.

And I did this one (below) the day after...
still processing the anger and sadness.

Some people can talk about it for an hour,
and then they're fine.
They move on to something else.

Not me.

I need to sit with the stories
and the questions, 
and the words -
sometimes for days.
None of it makes any sense,
but I'm at least able
to turn the anger & sadness
into art that becomes somewhat healing for me.

I can only hope the families of those murdered
can find their own path
to healing somehow...

Thanks for being here!
I'll keep you posted here on my new website 
as soon as it's live!
Wishing you all a happy week!
xo

why the holidays always make me go 'hhhhmmmm'

when i have a terrible need of - shall i say the word - religion, then i go out and paint the stars. 

- Vincent Van Gogh

i love the Van Gogh quote...

hello friends!

Christmas has come and gone for another year.

It was certainly different without mom,

but we made the best of it.

We had our traditional feast of Acadian poutines

and meat pies and seafood casserole and of course,

family and friends.

Oh, and there was wine... ;-)

i'm finally slowly making my way

back to the paints and crayons and colours.

I've missed it.

(coloured crayons on paper)

I did this one quickly last night,
just wanting to get back to doing at least something.

They're hanging on for dear life till the holidays are over. ;-)

i love the quote...

how many of us really dare to be ourselves, i wonder?
how many of us go through life wearing a mask,
pretending to be one thing or another?

how many of us are afraid to show our true colours,
for fear of not being accepted, or loved?

Children are usually wonderful at showing their true colours,
until the adults get in the way
and teach them what to think
rather than how to think.

I hope i am teaching my son how to think for himself...
how to decide whether or not he likes something,
based on how it makes him feel.

A paper clip painting... acrylic on paper.
Proof that you don't need an amazing subject
to paint something. :-)

And a few days ago, 

I saw this movie with a friend.

Loved it. Would see it again.

I hope you all had the kind of holiday you love -

whether that means non stop partying for you,

or a peaceful time at home with a good book or a few friends.

There's something about getting back into an artful routine

that feels wonderfully comforting to me...

Thanks for sharing this space with me.

I'll be back soon. Hope you join me again.

xox

mini ghost, abstract flowers and hope

hello folks.

I'm linking this to Illustration Friday... 

word of the week: HAUNT. 

I used cardboard from the Halloween chip box.

Yay!! free cardboard!! ;-)

I had fun making this little guy...

i'm a big chicken when it comes to scary stuff,

so i'll stick with the fun ghosts, thank you very much.

And then a bit of acrylic painting on paper...

It always seems to come alive for me when i add the dots... ;-)

and the black and white...

this photo (above) was taken last night, in my room...

and this one was taken this morning, 
by the window, with natural light...

What a difference, huh?
Colors are so much closer to the real thing.

For those of you who have sent such kind messages of concern
about my mother - thank you.

She is still in the hospital but in good spirits.
It's been an adjustment for everyone, 
so we're taking things one day at a time.

Just like the alcoholics do.  ;-)

It's hard not to worry all the time,
but then i'd be digging my own grave
if i spent every waking hour obsessing about mom
and cancer
and illness
and death...

So rather than go against the tide of what is our current reality,
i remind myself that she is in good hands
and that she is exactly where she needs to be right now.

She is doing well, despite everything,
thanks to her remarkable outlook on life and death.
The first thing she said when i went in to her room the other day was:

"aren't the leaves in the trees beautiful?"

We could all learn something from such a grateful heart,
don't you think?

xox

the difference between dreams that come true, and dreams that don't

A lie can travel half way around the world

while the truth is putting on its shoes.

Charles Spurgeon

It's always so much fun for me to go into my little blue room,
light a candle, put on some music, and paint.

love the name of this one - Tutti Fruitti... yeah.

I'm not the greatest at making marks when i begin a painting.

Mine are usually shapes rather than marks. :-)

a few added red squares and lines of text from a magazine.
I liked the dark blue color...

a bit of black Sharpie marker...

and a bit of white pen and paint.

So much fun to do...

and just for you. :-)

And then something simple and quick in my lovely little yellow book...

with colored pencils.

A gentle little reminder for all of us...

Thank you ALL for your kind words concerning my book.

(and Jez... thank you in particular for all those wonderfully detailed steps!!)

I've often wondered what makes one person's dreams become reality,
while the next person seems stuck in the mud and fails to realize them.

Wanna know what i believe the difference is?

Hard work.

That's it. 

We may think it has to do with money,
or time
or opportunity
or talent
or circumstance
or education...

all of these things may help,
but I believe it has most to do
with a willingness to do the work involved.

J.K. Rowling became a supposed overnight success with the Harry Potter books,
but in reality, it was anything but overnight.

She sat for years in a small café near her home
where she could hardly afford a tea...
and she wrote, and wrote, and wrote.

And we all know what happens when you continue doing something,
day in and day out.... 
you get better at it.

I don't want to say practice makes perfect,
because i don't believe in perfection.

But practice definitely makes "humongous-ly better". ;-)

So yeah, here I am with my little idea for a book,
and i am finally beginning to understand that this is so possible.

They say that if you put things out to the universe,
it gets the ball rolling.

Things start to happen.

I have a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson in my face that i read every day -

Once you make a decision,
the universe conspires to make it happen.

True, yes?

The quote should perhaps be this:

Once you make a decision,

the universe conspires to make it happen -

and then you have to show up for the actual work to be done.

Wishing you all the kind of Saturday you love...

I'm off to do some sketching and take notes for the book... :-)