to be chosen, or not to be chosen...

hello everyone...

I've been writing more than making art these days.

Yup. 

Almost a year already since mom's been gone.

I'm still going through her things, slowly.

Found this little glass flower in a box.

June.

The month of my birth.

I'm guessing mom wanted to give this to me.

Most of the things i find

make me smile

but the occasional find

makes me sad

that she is no longer here.

Sad that she suffered.

Sad that she still wanted to do

so much.

Without wanting to offend anyone,

it makes me cringe

whenever i hear someone say

"prayer works".

It didn't work for mom.

It didn't work for my friend Liz

who died at 50,

leaving two young & sad boys behind.

It doesn't work

for many of you out there,

who are suffering, one way or another.

Who are living difficult lives.

It just makes me sad

when we say these things

because it implies that prayer works for some

and not for others

and so it must mean

that the others didn't pray enough,

or to the right god,

or that god picks & chooses who he listens to.

Either way,

it's all nonsense to me.

To believe this divides us more than unites us.

Life is a cycle.

Good things happen

and bad things happen

regardless of how much

or how little you pray.

The strength you need

when darker days fall upon you

comes from LOVE

more than prayer.

Anyone who has seen the stars in the sky,

the sunset and the sunrise,

understands how sacred life is

and how this is all the prayer

one really needs.

xox

universal pain

If you reveal your secrets to the wind,

you should not blame the wind

for revealing them to the trees.

KHALIL GIBRAN

I painted this last night.

i had just finished watching a documentary about a family in Latvia

who had a history of incest 

and this one woman who was trying to free herself

from such heavy chains on her heart.

My heart went out to her and her two children...

born of her own brother.

Family secrets.

I just thought about how the pain must be the same

for anyone who is abused -

whether you are in Russia or the US

or France or China or Canada.

The feeling must be the same.

Just as love is universal, so must be pain.

My current books on the go.

Someone asked me the other day

what i was reading.

I was never one to read just one book at a time.

I usually have several books on the go,

and the book i pick up depends on my mood at the time.

Some books are heavy on the head, some are lighter.

If a book is really good, I'll read it faster than the others.

Some books i prefer reading in the morning,

and some easier reads are kept for the evenings.

I sometimes feel like i'm trying to learn

as much stuff as i can while i'm here...

i know, it's ridiculous, right?

but it's who i am.

And truth be told, i wouldn't be who i am today

if it were not for all the books i've read.

Books not only have the ability

to teach us about the world,

but they also teach us about ourselves.

what we like and don't like.

what makes us tick.

what we love and what we learn to tolerate.

what we are willing to stand for.

the reasons we believe what we believe.

What frustrates the hell out of us.

(right now, for me, it's all the hype about the damn smoke

coming out of the Sistine chapel chimney!)

I for one, do not care who they elect pope.

There. I said it.

I'm still convinced that if most catholics knew

about the history of catholic religion,

they would be fewer in numbers.

Maybe when they begin to respect women,

and children

and gays

and scientists

and atheists...

i'll change my mind.

Who knows.

Miracles can happen. 

;-)

if i hear about another pedophile priest, i'm gonna scream...

I may lose a few followers here with this post,

but it doesn't matter to me.

This needs to be shared.

I watched something last night

that had my blood boiling -

and my blood doesn’t boil very easily.

I watched a documentary called

Mea Maxima Culpa

(Silence in the house of God).

It is a must see after far too many silent years

about pedophiles in the priesthood

and the Vatican’s refusal

to protect the young victims.

I am outraged at the fact

that these young deaf boys tried to tell so many people

for so many years (including the police)

and they were ignored

because one just doesn't accuse a priest of such things.

The boys were left to fend for themselves,

many of these deaf children unable to communicate

with their own parents.

Most of the nuns who were meant to protect them

looked the other way.

Many of the priests accused of molestation

were transferred to a different parish,

sometimes to a different country.

I think we can all guess what happened there...

It pains and angers me to think of the suffering

of those poor little deaf boys

and how their lives

were forever changed

because of men (priests)

who abused their authority.

Many catholics won’t watch this film,

because they have been taught not to question,

and many who will watch

will do so in disbelief.

Silence and denial

are far easier to bear for many

than the truth.

Well folks – not for me.

I believe it’s time for change.

We are not doing the world any favors

by pretending these crimes didn’t happen

in the church

and aren’t still happening.

We do ourselves and our children a disservice

when we let these priests

off the hook.

Anyone else would be charged.

They are men, first and foremost

and the frock should serve as more

than protection from the law.

Saints and sinners.

Sinners and saints…

the line keeps getting a little muddier

it seems…

Here's the movie trailer: