how art and Leonard Cohen heal my heart

hello everyone...

I am not a big fan of social media
and neither is this little bird,
even with the tweets. ;-)

This past Sunday was a difficult day,
but when evening came,
along with it came relief
that day would soon turn to night
and night into a new morning.

During the early evening,
I found my way to the blue room,
and played with paints and paper for a while.
(a great remedy for a sad heart)

If i was a doctor,
this is what i would prescribe to patients.
Solitary time
in a room with a view,
pens, paper,
and a box of Crayolas.
Maybe some music.
And some wine. ;-)

I was all over the place
with sketching and collaging and painting.

Like i had a thousand images in my head that wanted out...

Then i opened a book i had nearby
and landed on this page
and it was fucking poetic.
Don't you love it
when something comes together?
When you read something
or see something
or hear something
at what feels like exactly the right time?

Then i read this one...

What do i do?

i paint.

i write.

i listen to Leonard Cohen.

i count my blessings.

i see miracles in the every day.

Not in heaven,

but here.

In the every day.

i light a candle.

i pay attention to my breathing.

i walk along the ocean.
i read.
i remember.

i look at the moon & stars

and consider how minuscule i am

and how vast the universe is

and yet...

and yet.

xox

(what do YOU do?)

the woman in the moon

Life shrinks or expands

in proportion to one's courage.

Anaïs Nin

I decided a while ago that i would blog less often

and paint more.

And guess what i discovered?

That blogging is what kept me painting more often.

Knowing that i would be posting something in the morning

inspired me to be creative at night.

I blog less now (about twice per week)

and instead of using the extra time to paint

(like i thought i would!)

i clean the house

or go for coffee

or read

and more often than not

i work.

That's just yucky.

;-)

So i'm back to posting more often,

every day or two.

Yay for me!

It just gives me the kick in the ass i need

to keep myself creating.

I did this one in my journal last night...

acrylics, markers and white pen.

I really have a thing for twirls, don't i?

colors are off and i don't usually fiddle much

with making adjustments,

but you get the idea.

The woman in the moon. 

:-)

and this is my little blue room,

after the painting last night.

more stuff

and still more stuff. :-)

i took this pic this morning, in natural light.

By the way, i got a lovely invitation a little while back

to be a featured artist on Jennibellie's fabulous blog.

For those of you interested in reading the little interview

just click here.

Jenny is a talented and kind artist and spends much of her time

making beautiful things and spreading the love by

sharing her artwork and her tutorial videos for everyone.

I just love anyone who's willing to share so much of themselves

with the world.

Thank you Jenny!

Wishing you all a wonderful week

filled with sunshine and lollipops. 

xoxo

girl in water, woman and wavy hair, the beginning...

She's scary, isn't she?

She scares me and i'm the one who drew her. :-)

I'm posting her anyway because i believe

flawed art is still better than no art. 

This little wavy haired woman was done right after the girl in the water,

and it's a work in progress.

In BIC marker and acrylic paints.

These kinds of doodles are always so meditative for me.

The quote you see on the left is one that i love

by J.R.R. Tolkien...

Not all who wander are lost

I'm reading the FIRE STARTER SESSIONS

and working on some of the worksheets.

I'll tell you a little secret about myself.

i am not a goal oriented person. 

At all.

So whenever i see someone with calendars

or a strategic 5 year plan on their wall

my heart starts to palpitate.

It just all seems far too mechanical for me.

I'm just saying.

It's just not who i am.

For those of you who can fly with 5 year plans on their walls,

more power to you!

I've never been good at setting goals for myself

and yet,

i've accomplished most of what i set out to do,

through passion

and determination

and perseverance

and courage

and work.

Oh, and love is important too.

If you don't love what you're doing

chances are good you may meet the deadline

but you'll still feel empty inside

and almost always drained at the end of the day.

I know. I've been there. It's not a good feeling.

Danielle Laporte gently asks this question in her book:

how do you want to feel?

An important question, wouldn't you say?

Once i thought about this for a while,

i realized that one of the most important values for me

is freedom.

Maybe i really am a hippie at heart. :-)

I want to feel free more than anything,

which probably explains why i've always struggled 

with the 9 to 5 job.

I've done it, for years, but i never strived there.

I was trading my freedom for financial reward,

and that just wasn't cutting it for me.

There had to be another way.

There was another way.

i just had to claim it as my own. 

:-)

When i walked on the beach last weekend,

in this one spot on the sand,

there had been a bonfire there the night before.

Out of the ashes, i saw this one piece of paper...

and these 2 words made me smile.

Wishing you all a happy Wednesday.

xoxo

moon woman

Do you ever feel so connected to everything

that you could just reach out 

and touch the moon?

This started out as a watercolor

but i changed my mind rather quickly

and decided it needed bolder colors.

Especially for the moon and stars...

I had sketched this quickly

after a long evening walk

during the last full moon,

knowing that it would eventually

make it to my journal.

...there's just something about the moon

and a star filled sky,

isn't there?

A bit of added outline & detail

and yes, dots.

:-)

I don't have long flowing hair,

and her boobs are far more perfect than mine ;-)

and yet - I am a woman.

I am she

and she is me

and on this night

we both reached out

and touched the moon.

Van Gogh

I went for a nice walk last night in the cold winter air

and as i looked at the beautiful moon

and the starlit sky,

i thought of this quote by Van Gogh...

I agree with Vincent.

The sight of stars makes me dream too. 

You would think after so many years

of seeing the moon up there in the sky

i would have grown accustomed to it.

But I am still in awe.

As soon as i step out the door for my walk in the evenings,

I look up towards the moon & the stars

and it still reassures me

the same way it did 

when i was 13 years old.

So here's what i painted last night,

after my cold winter walk,

in honour of Vincent Van Gogh,

and his deep appreciation for the skies...

*****

And your smile for the day. 

:-)

I think we can all relate to this one.

starry night

Sometimes, life throws sucker punches. 

Or maybe it just tries to jolt us into becoming more aware of what's really important.

In the past two years, i've lost a good friend to cancer, my own mother was diagnosed and

is currently in chemotherapy, my father had a severe heart attack and

i've had a few health scares myself,

which i now attribute to mentalpause - (menopause my ass...)

More recently, we have close friends who are going through very difficult times...

I know it sounds so cliché, but when you lose your health, you lose everything.

Nothing else matters.

I've always found it hard to distance myself from another person's pain.

I still work hard on that one,

looking for that right balance between being there for support

and not losing myself in the process.

So whenever i begin to feel overwhelmed,

and there are too many stories of children being abused in the news,

and honour killings,
and cancer,

and acid burnings -

I pull myself out,

and find my way to the good things.

To a long walk in the cold winter air,

and a starry night sky,

and the moon,

if only to remind myself that amongst the chaos of all this "badness"

there is still "goodness" as well.

I get what Ralph Waldo Emerson was saying

when he spent so much time alone in his little cabin in the woods.

Nature is indifferent.

Where i am looking at a beautiful full moon,

someone else is drowning somewhere in the world.

Gratitude for what you have,

or where you are,

or who you are is so important.

If you can't be grateful when things are good,

you'll never make it when things get bad.

Be grateful today, ok?

Don't complain over a broken fingernail.

Think of those who have so much less than you do on this day.

xoxo

reach for the moon

my pencil sketch wasn't worth much - after i spread the paint on the canvas,

it totally covered my pencil lines... :-)

a bit of colour & texture (sponge & paper towel!)

a bit more colour & detail

... me & the swirly swirls... :-)

a few little words & voilà.

This was done last night on a small canvas (i think it's 8" x 8"). 

I think back sometimes at how i became an artist and inevitably, it takes me back to childhood.

When my friends were playing with Barbies & dolls, i was painting their faces with magic markers. :-) I'd spend hours with colouring books & crayons & paper & scissors. Whenever it would thunder, mom would take out her ingredients & make us home made play dough with food colouring & all.

To this day, i love thunder.

When i was 10 or 11, a family friend came back from Japan & brought me a few magazines & books - all written in Japanese. I thought the lettering was the most beautiful thing i had ever seen. So I grabbed some paper & copied about 10 pages of text - only because i loved the look of all those little lines & squares & symbols. 

Were you always creative, or was it something you developed with time?

What kind of things did you love doing as a child? 

Carpe Diem folks...

xoxo

howling at the moon

Don't we all sometimes feel wild or raw? I'm not even sure what kind of animal this is - I never question too much when i'm inspired to paint something. I think it's important for an artist to trust their instincts & just go with it. We've lost this ability somewhere along the way, haven't we?