Speed Stick and poetry for mom...

may came home with a smooth round stone

as small as a world and as large as alone.

- e.e. cummings 

Things have been a little cookoo here lately.

My husband works away and in the past week,

came home and left again

for another little while.

Several days ago, my son left for a trip to Mexico

- a dream vacation for any teenager -

and March came and went, it seems

with the blink of an eye.

I feel out of sorts when creative routines are disrupted

and yet...

i sometimes need the break,

away from the computer

away from the art room.

(did she really SAY that?!)

Yes. She did. ;-)

So i walked

and read

and worked

and listened to good music

and had coffee with friends

and pondered life...

i sketched a bit,

but nothing much

and a few days ago,

i found this gem of a book

at the used book store

It is a rather fine line
between genius and creativity sometimes...

I also wrote a bit.

It's been over four months
since the loss of my mother
and it sometimes feels
like it was just yesterday.

Here's what i wrote
after one of my morning walks...

i hate remembering

mom being so sick

as we drove home from her chemo treatments

she with the car seat pulled back

resting quietly,

eyes closed and

hand on her heart...

i love that i was there with her

holding her hand

in the end

i hate how her diagnosis

led her to self doubt

and questions

and blame for what she

should have done

and didn't do.

i love that we got to spend

two extra years together

after she had been told

she only had a few months to live.

i hate that cancer robbed her

of her body

of her hair

of her strength

of her energy

of her appetite.

i love that it never robbed her

of her will to live

nor did it ever take away

the sparkle in her eyes.

i hate that her life was cut short

when she still had

so much life left in her.

i love that i had her for this long

when so many people out there

lose their mothers when they are children.

i hate that her leaving

forced my father to fend for himself

to make his meals

to clean the house

to be alone

to mourn the loss

and that it left an emptiness

in the house and in our hearts

that can never be filled again.

i love that i had her for a mother

and that the lessons she taught me

are now being passed on

to my own son

with deep love

and a tinge of sadness…

mom with Fluffy...

xox

Illustration Friday: OCEAN

Individually, we are one drop.

Together, we are an ocean.

- Ryunosuke Satoro

Illustration Friday:  OCEAN

I did this painting about 4 years ago, for a fundraiser.

It's called: Joel's wave.

It's the one painting I gave away with regret.

Maybe i'll have to paint myself another ocean soon... :-)

Linking this to Illustration Friday.

Check out some of the awesome art there.

i love creative people. xox

how books and doodles make a difference

hello folks.

A few gifts from Amazon... from me, to me. :-)
The best kind.

When i was younger, i was full of questions.

Curious about everything from

why is the sky blue

to how do we know to breathe

to why do so many people wear fur coats in church. ;-)

Mom would answer most of my questions,

but whenever she got tired of the asking,

or no longer knew how to answer,

she would simply say:

"c'est un mystère de la vie"

(it's one of life's mysteries)

So when i saw this book,

you just know i had to buy it, right?

Plus, i love the cover design. :-)

This morning, i did this quick doodle
with Sharpie markers on photo paper
and wrote this...

It feels good to write and draw and doodle.

It helps me make sense of my world,
the same way music does
or watching the sunset
or the moon,
or feeling the wind on my face.

Enjoy the day - whatever that means for you.

If you don't feel like being grateful, don't.
If you feel like venting for an hour, do.

In the end, it really doesn't matter.

As long as you're breathing... :-)

love to all of you...
xox

ocean angel

Silence is a source of great strength. 

Lao Tzu

This morning's little sketch...

today feels melancholic to me.

A melancholic Monday.

I went for an early morning walk on the beach this morning,

and when i came back, i wrote this

in my little journal.

Life is ebb and flow.

It's about learning

when to hold on

and when to let go.

Like the turning of the tides

it comes and goes

in constant transformation.

There are days

where i have the strength

of an ox

and days where i am like

a butterfly in the wind.

On days when i am called

to have strength of steel

i go within

and imagine myself

as the ocean

capable of swallowing shores

and soothing spirits.

My heart pulses

and i become rhythm.

Back and forth,

the ticking of a clock

the breathing in and out

the breaking of waves on the shore

the singing of birds

the leaves in the wind

the footsteps in the sand

the blood in my veins...

i become one with the ocean

and there,

i find my voice.

I hope you all find some time today

to connect with what's important to you

and find your own voice.

xoxo

Leonard Cohen

There is a crack in everything,

that's how the light gets in.

- Leonard Cohen

I love Leonard Cohen.

An incredible Canadian musician,

songwriter,

performer,

poet...

I used my music sheet book for the painting,

even though there were more words on the page than music notes.

Maybe it was deliberate.

I love the words in his face...

He just recorded a new album called OLD IDEAS.

I'm in love

with a 77 year old man

and his songs.

:-)