we are ONE world

Where to begin...

I wanted to write something last week

but the heaviness enveloped me 

and none of the words in my head

made any sense.

Like many around the world,

my heart felt like lead in my chest.

I am only now beginning to breathe again.

The election results.

The death of Leonard Cohen.

Remembrance Day.

My heart shattered for so many people.

Those in the US who now fear

that their lives will change

drastically.

That families will be torn apart.

Millions of people now know that

millions of other people don’t want them there.

And as if that isn't heavy enough on its own,
they also know 
that the president of their own country
feels the same way
so that makes it ok
in the eyes of many. 

All I could think of the next morning

as I heard the results,

were the Jews in Nazi Germany in 1939

and how they were also made to feel

unwanted,

different,

less than.

How it all began

with the separation of "us" vs "them".

I think if we all knew more about history,

we would understand the gravity of the words:

let us not repeat the past.

I don’t fear Trump

but i do fear the monster he awoke.

He threw gasoline in the fire

and gave racism and sexism and bigotry

and the KKK

front row seats to the shit show.

(why the KKK is still a thing in the USA is beyond me.)

And now, both sides will clash

with venom and judgement and death

and the physical walls will mean less in time

than the walls being built 

in the hearts of a nation.

Nothing good ever comes from division.
We are ONE world.

Clearly, there is still so much racism and sexism

and fear of those who are different,

lingering in the shadows of the world.

Only now, they’re not so much in the shadows.

There are people 

who were born and raised in the USA

who no longer feel safe there -

who no longer feel like it’s home.

Those who voted for Trump

may not consider themselves racists or homophobes

but they consciously chose a man who is

and who built his entire platform

on fear and hatred

and dividing a nation

rather than unifying it.

But this was still ok.

A protest vote,

to stick it to the government,

even if it meant

putting other lives in the crossfire.

On Remembrance Day,

there were comments on social media

expressing gratitude to all veterans,

for what they sacrificed for our freedom,

and I wondered...

are we really grateful?

Can we really say "thanks for the freedom"

and then go on disliking those
who are different than we are?

Would we not be better to express thanks

by trying to understand one another

and treat each other as equals for a change,

regardless of race, gender or religious views?

I wonder why it’s still so difficult

for so many people

to work together

and see our similarities

instead of our differences.

Thanks for being here.

Wherever you are in the world,

know that YOU MATTER

and that love matters.

Now let the healing begin.

xox

ocean waves of sorrow and joy

hello everyone!

I have so much to share,

i'm not sure where to begin...

Let's start with the fact that 

it's still summer here!

We broke a 100 year record yesterday for temperature.

I was 30C (86F).

Hot for us in September.

Normally, by this time of the year,

we're pulling out the thick sweaters

and looking for our socks.

But this year, we seem to be

about a month+ behind in the seasons.

It's a strange thing,

the reaction we have to weather.

September here usually brings with it

a burst of energy for me

and a cozy feeling of cocooning.

Kids are going back to school,

some to university,

moms are getting the house to themselves... ;)

new beginnings.

But this year feels different.

There's this churning of creativity inside me

but when I notice it's still summer out there,

I wanna be out walking or swimming or kayaking.

(and on a good day, I usually am)

Because I know what's coming.

W.I.N.T.E.R.

So I hate to admit it,

but I would welcome a rainy day.

And if the forecast is right,

we're getting one tomorrow. (Sunday)

There's a little story to this sunflower.

Earlier this year,

we decided to plant a few things.

(I don't have a green thumb).

So we planted a few flowers along the walkway...

but we didn't plant this sunflower!

Honest, we didn't.

When we noticed something growing,

we were curious to see what would pop up there.

At first, I thought it was just weed...

no, not the kind you smoke! ;)

but lo and behold - 

this beautiful sunflower pops up! 

The birds & the bees carried the seeds

exactly at the right spot. :)

So next year, I'm planting sunflowers.

This is Fluffy, my dad's dog,

and she loves to hide her treats in the carpet,

just in case someone is thinking

of taking them from her.

Cracks me up.

I did a quick little sketch of her

while she slept by my side on the grass.

This is part of my blue room...
I used to have my mac upstairs,
but finally brought it down here.
This room just feels right for writing.

I am sitting in the chair you see here right now...

I love this space...
You don't need a big, fancy shmancy studio
to make art.
It just has to feel right in your heart.
Some people use a shed,
the basement, the back porch,
a kitchen table,
Whatever works for you.

A few weeks ago,
we were awakened at 2am 
by the sound of helicopters just above our house.
By morning, we found out
they were looking for a missing man in the water.
A boating accident.
He and a friend were boating
when the boat capsized.
His friend searched for him in the water
for a half hour before making it to shore
to call 911.
They found the missing man days later - drowned,
only about 50 feet from the shore here.
42 years old.

Whenever something like this happens,
you always have the nitwits who want to give
their two cents worth about what happened.

"well, they had to be drinking!"

"who goes out boating after dark?"

"well, why weren't they wearing lifejackets?"

That's why it's called an ACCIDENT, you morons.
Cause it's not supposed to happen.
No one ever goes out on a boat thinking:

"I know! We'll put ourselves in danger
and then we'll drown!! It'll be fun!"

It angers me how quickly we are to judge
when something like this happens.
We all know what should have happened
to prevent this tragedy, 
but it didn't, and the man is dead.
Why bring any more suffering
to his poor family
and the friend who searched
for 30 minutes in the water for him?
They lost someone they loved
and this beautiful place
will forever haunt them.
Is that not enough?

I went for a walk there the other day
and saw this one lone flower...
and I thought of him.

 Then I picked up this book again...

and read this...

Funny how the same questions
have different meaning now...

I had ordered new cards from MOO
and they came in as the helicopters
searched overhead...
it made me sad
when i noticed my ocean paintings.
I can be overly sensitive about my surroundings,
so I usually try to paint or sketch something
as soon as i can,
to put the pain on paper
rather than keep it in my heart.

I started this painting thinking of water,
and ocean, and waves, and nighttime... 
(it's acrylic on paper)

Not sure where I was going with the pink,
but I just let it go where it wanted to go.

Added a bit of white...
still not sure if it's anything 
other than abstract.

Then I flipped it over
and saw a dragon and someone flying
and a moon and water and a heart...

These are closer to the real colours..

taken in daylight.

Looking at it this way just feels 

less scary to me.

Why a dragon would feel less scary,

I'm not sure.  ;)

I'm not sure if i mentioned anything in my last post,

but I'm working on a little something

with a few other artists

that we'll be sharing with you all soon.

I am thrilled to be contributing

to such a fun project

and I know that many of you

will be happy to

color along with me very soon!

(Yes, that's a little hint for you.)

As soon as I get the ok to share,

I will.

Hang tight.

In the meantime,

you might wanna

sharpen your color pencils!

xx

This is how excited I am:

am i the only crazy one out here?

Greetings Munchkins!

It's been a struggle for me lately to make art.
To make time...
to feel inspired...
to be in the right heart space...
(heart space is always more important than head space)

For those of you out there
who blog and share your art with the world...
do you ever wonder why you do?
I do.
i've been thinking on this a lot lately.
Initially, i did it for me.
I began blogging and sharing because i wanted to get
more comfortable with having my work out there.

Then it slowly transitioned into
less about me
and more about others...
Without wanting to sound religious,
I felt like i could be of service somehow.
Like this was my way
of giving back to the world.
If i could inspire or encourage ONE person out there to make art
(and thus to feel happier, because making art = feeling happier),
then my job was done.
The more people i could inspire
to make that connection with their own hearts - 
and shut the rest of the world off,
the happier this planet would be. 
Did i really believe this?
(yes, i secretly did - and still do)

The world may be happier just one tiny person at a time,
one tiny heart at a time,
but it'll be happier, because that's what art does.
That's what music does.
That's what nature does.
That's what poetry does.
It makes us forget about the yucky stuff that surrounds us -
the things that  suffocate us during the day...
like crappy jobs
and toxic relationships
& burdened responsibilities -

and it somehow connects us

to what really matters to us.

Not to others.

Not to the company, or the husband,

or the bank, or the market, or the wife,

or the boss, or the neighbours, or society...

to us.

It's easy to feel intimidated into
shutting up, isn't it?
When everyone around us seems to be
a success - and we're not.
When everyone seems to know the secret -
and we don't.
With the internet at our fingertips,
it's easier than ever to compare ourselves to others...
so it's that much more important
to keep connected to
our own hearts
and to be grateful that we have this connection
when so many others
seem to have lost their way.

And speaking of hearts and connections...
i watched a documentary called BLACKFISH,
about the killer whales in captivity in theme parks
around the world.
I felt such sadness for these beautiful creatures
that i was inspired to paint again
after days (weeks?) of a dry spell...

i love that art is able to do this.
I think about music sometimes
and i wonder how many hearts
would have drowned in sorrow,
if musicians or composers hadn't sat themselves down
to write/play what they had been feeling in their hearts?
How many hearts HAVE drowned in sorrow
because someone chose not to write?

Art allows me to take sadness
from the pit of my stomach
and put it on paper so it doesn't eat up
my insides.
It may sound stupid to some,
(and totally useless for the whales)
but it makes sense to me.
It's important to me.
So I do it.

I've always been overly sensitive

about the suffering of animals

(hence, the suffering of man...) 

and somehow, putting it on paper

gives my feelings a voice

and eases my own suffering.

Only after i give my feelings a voice through art

can i actually think straight enough

to ACT and do something (if i choose so)

Now i'm inspired to write,
but it's getting late and i must say goodnight!
I'll be back soon.

Wishing you all a week filled with inspiration
and courageous hearts!
xox

For those interested, here's the trailer for the film...

art heals - and so does Neil Young

hi everyone.

I thought i'd get a chance to catch up on all your blogs this past weekend

but alas... life had other plans.

I look forward to connecting with all of you again soon...

Any bit of spare time i have these days is shared between

visiting mom in the hospital,

checking up on dad,

being a mother,

working,

making meals,

painting,

reading,

writing,

walking,

and seeking sanity on a daily basis. ;-)

Hence, the sheet music painting tonight.

sheet music painting = sanity.

I hadn't done any in a while... and it's oh so meditative for me.

It just takes me to another place where time stands still.

I put on some music,

and within minutes,

i'm flying, far far away.

No, there are no drugs involved. (giggle)

I love the last part of a painting,
where the blacks and the whites are added.
It's where the painting comes alive, don't you think?

I'm guessing i'm not the only one who loves this part of a painting.

And even if once the painting is done,
i look at it for a few minutes,
and realize that the eyes are crooked,
and the nose is wrong,
and the mouth doesn't look quite like Neil's mouth...

I'm still smiling
cause it just felt so damn good to paint SOMETHING.

It's been hard for me to concentrate on art lately,
for obvious reasons.

My head knows that it's good to do something that i love,
but my heart has a hard time getting started sometimes.

Once i get myself started, it's all good.
But sometimes these days, sitting in the blue room is a bit of a challenge.

Art helps me feel grounded
so whenever i go a while without it,
i literally feel out of whack.

But still, i do something that many of us don't do often enough.

I go easy on myself.

I cut myself some slack.

I remind myself that the paints will be there tomorrow,

if i feel like painting,

or the day after,

or the day after that...

Tonight was one of those "day after's".

When i sat in the blue room, i felt like being there.
I knew it would be a good painting session before i even began.

Some things, you just know.

I have so much more to say to all of you,
about so many things,
but it'll have to be for a later time.

It's getting late and i'm running on empty already.

I'll leave you with one of my favourite Neil Young songs...
and i wish you all star filled skies this week.
xox