we are ONE world

Where to begin...

I wanted to write something last week

but the heaviness enveloped me 

and none of the words in my head

made any sense.

Like many around the world,

my heart felt like lead in my chest.

I am only now beginning to breathe again.

The election results.

The death of Leonard Cohen.

Remembrance Day.

My heart shattered for so many people.

Those in the US who now fear

that their lives will change

drastically.

That families will be torn apart.

Millions of people now know that

millions of other people don’t want them there.

And as if that isn't heavy enough on its own,
they also know 
that the president of their own country
feels the same way
so that makes it ok
in the eyes of many. 

All I could think of the next morning

as I heard the results,

were the Jews in Nazi Germany in 1939

and how they were also made to feel

unwanted,

different,

less than.

How it all began

with the separation of "us" vs "them".

I think if we all knew more about history,

we would understand the gravity of the words:

let us not repeat the past.

I don’t fear Trump

but i do fear the monster he awoke.

He threw gasoline in the fire

and gave racism and sexism and bigotry

and the KKK

front row seats to the shit show.

(why the KKK is still a thing in the USA is beyond me.)

And now, both sides will clash

with venom and judgement and death

and the physical walls will mean less in time

than the walls being built 

in the hearts of a nation.

Nothing good ever comes from division.
We are ONE world.

Clearly, there is still so much racism and sexism

and fear of those who are different,

lingering in the shadows of the world.

Only now, they’re not so much in the shadows.

There are people 

who were born and raised in the USA

who no longer feel safe there -

who no longer feel like it’s home.

Those who voted for Trump

may not consider themselves racists or homophobes

but they consciously chose a man who is

and who built his entire platform

on fear and hatred

and dividing a nation

rather than unifying it.

But this was still ok.

A protest vote,

to stick it to the government,

even if it meant

putting other lives in the crossfire.

On Remembrance Day,

there were comments on social media

expressing gratitude to all veterans,

for what they sacrificed for our freedom,

and I wondered...

are we really grateful?

Can we really say "thanks for the freedom"

and then go on disliking those
who are different than we are?

Would we not be better to express thanks

by trying to understand one another

and treat each other as equals for a change,

regardless of race, gender or religious views?

I wonder why it’s still so difficult

for so many people

to work together

and see our similarities

instead of our differences.

Thanks for being here.

Wherever you are in the world,

know that YOU MATTER

and that love matters.

Now let the healing begin.

xox

Speed Stick and poetry for mom...

may came home with a smooth round stone

as small as a world and as large as alone.

- e.e. cummings 

Things have been a little cookoo here lately.

My husband works away and in the past week,

came home and left again

for another little while.

Several days ago, my son left for a trip to Mexico

- a dream vacation for any teenager -

and March came and went, it seems

with the blink of an eye.

I feel out of sorts when creative routines are disrupted

and yet...

i sometimes need the break,

away from the computer

away from the art room.

(did she really SAY that?!)

Yes. She did. ;-)

So i walked

and read

and worked

and listened to good music

and had coffee with friends

and pondered life...

i sketched a bit,

but nothing much

and a few days ago,

i found this gem of a book

at the used book store

It is a rather fine line
between genius and creativity sometimes...

I also wrote a bit.

It's been over four months
since the loss of my mother
and it sometimes feels
like it was just yesterday.

Here's what i wrote
after one of my morning walks...

i hate remembering

mom being so sick

as we drove home from her chemo treatments

she with the car seat pulled back

resting quietly,

eyes closed and

hand on her heart...

i love that i was there with her

holding her hand

in the end

i hate how her diagnosis

led her to self doubt

and questions

and blame for what she

should have done

and didn't do.

i love that we got to spend

two extra years together

after she had been told

she only had a few months to live.

i hate that cancer robbed her

of her body

of her hair

of her strength

of her energy

of her appetite.

i love that it never robbed her

of her will to live

nor did it ever take away

the sparkle in her eyes.

i hate that her life was cut short

when she still had

so much life left in her.

i love that i had her for this long

when so many people out there

lose their mothers when they are children.

i hate that her leaving

forced my father to fend for himself

to make his meals

to clean the house

to be alone

to mourn the loss

and that it left an emptiness

in the house and in our hearts

that can never be filled again.

i love that i had her for a mother

and that the lessons she taught me

are now being passed on

to my own son

with deep love

and a tinge of sadness…

mom with Fluffy...

xox

mini ghost, abstract flowers and hope

hello folks.

I'm linking this to Illustration Friday... 

word of the week: HAUNT. 

I used cardboard from the Halloween chip box.

Yay!! free cardboard!! ;-)

I had fun making this little guy...

i'm a big chicken when it comes to scary stuff,

so i'll stick with the fun ghosts, thank you very much.

And then a bit of acrylic painting on paper...

It always seems to come alive for me when i add the dots... ;-)

and the black and white...

this photo (above) was taken last night, in my room...

and this one was taken this morning, 
by the window, with natural light...

What a difference, huh?
Colors are so much closer to the real thing.

For those of you who have sent such kind messages of concern
about my mother - thank you.

She is still in the hospital but in good spirits.
It's been an adjustment for everyone, 
so we're taking things one day at a time.

Just like the alcoholics do.  ;-)

It's hard not to worry all the time,
but then i'd be digging my own grave
if i spent every waking hour obsessing about mom
and cancer
and illness
and death...

So rather than go against the tide of what is our current reality,
i remind myself that she is in good hands
and that she is exactly where she needs to be right now.

She is doing well, despite everything,
thanks to her remarkable outlook on life and death.
The first thing she said when i went in to her room the other day was:

"aren't the leaves in the trees beautiful?"

We could all learn something from such a grateful heart,
don't you think?

xox