maybe mom loved dots too...

Any fool can run towards the light. It takes a master with courage to turn and face the darkness and shine his own light there.

- Leslie Fieger

hi everyone.

My son came back from Mexico with this lovely souvenir for me,

which in turn, inspired a painting.

my camera was in another room,

so i didn't take any progress pics. 

some of these pics were taken last night,

and others this morning, by natural light.

Natural light is always better. 

I've been feeling the need to re-evaluate a few things lately,

so i may be blogging a little less for a while.

If i blog less, you'll know it's because i'm writing (or painting) more.

Sometimes, saying no to something

means we're saying YES to ourselves.

Saying yes can be very liberating...

This past while, i've been slowly sorting out

mom's things.

It's a strange feeling to be sorting out

things that belonged to another person,

even when that other person was my mom.

Old passports.

Receipts from purchases made years ago.

Cards kept in special places.

Letters.

Clothes...

Unlike what many of you may think,

i love doing this and find it all very healing.

i love finding some of her writing the most

because the handwriting of a person is very intimate

and my mother had beautiful handwriting.

This was one of mom's favorite tops...

Anyone who knows my art, knows how much i love using dots.

It made me smile from ear to ear when i saw this...

and noticed (for the first time!) all the dots.

i swear i had never noticed them before.

Life is funny sometimes...

Thank you all for being here...

xox

art, good music and kind people make me happy

hi peeps.

it's time for faces! :-)

a tiny acrylic and marker on paper (12 x 12 cm)

There's a video at the end of this post.

It's what i was listening to while i painted last night...

the whole CD, not just the one song. :-)

and then there's this woman... 

i love Jane Goodall, and what she's done with her life.

My first ever blog post was a little watercolor of Jane and a friend...

you can see it here.

I was a woman of few words when i first began blogging.

Now i won't shut up. 

(giggle...)

I had a hard time with this one...

i seem to have made her look much older

- something i'm not so sure she would like.

but it is what it is. 
Sometimes there's a likeness,
and sometimes less.

 I certainly tried to give her compassionate eyes.
Whenever i see her on tv, that's always what i notice about her first.
Those peaceful, loving, compassionate eyes.

You can see a lot in a person's eyes.

I then took time to finish this one too -

just added the word and a few magical dots. 

I kinda like it.

I hope you all know how much i appreciate

your kind comments.

The thing that makes me the happiest

is knowing that sometimes,

I may actually inspire someone out there

to make art

or write poetry

or take a walk outside

or listen to music

or bake a cake

or notice the moon

or write a song...

or just be more appreciative of something.

Anything.

That makes me happy.

Because i believe these are the things

that give life meaning -

and there are too many of us out there

waiting until we retire to find meaning in our lives.

hugs to all of you...

xox

hope you like the song

Speed Stick and poetry for mom...

may came home with a smooth round stone

as small as a world and as large as alone.

- e.e. cummings 

Things have been a little cookoo here lately.

My husband works away and in the past week,

came home and left again

for another little while.

Several days ago, my son left for a trip to Mexico

- a dream vacation for any teenager -

and March came and went, it seems

with the blink of an eye.

I feel out of sorts when creative routines are disrupted

and yet...

i sometimes need the break,

away from the computer

away from the art room.

(did she really SAY that?!)

Yes. She did. ;-)

So i walked

and read

and worked

and listened to good music

and had coffee with friends

and pondered life...

i sketched a bit,

but nothing much

and a few days ago,

i found this gem of a book

at the used book store

It is a rather fine line
between genius and creativity sometimes...

I also wrote a bit.

It's been over four months
since the loss of my mother
and it sometimes feels
like it was just yesterday.

Here's what i wrote
after one of my morning walks...

i hate remembering

mom being so sick

as we drove home from her chemo treatments

she with the car seat pulled back

resting quietly,

eyes closed and

hand on her heart...

i love that i was there with her

holding her hand

in the end

i hate how her diagnosis

led her to self doubt

and questions

and blame for what she

should have done

and didn't do.

i love that we got to spend

two extra years together

after she had been told

she only had a few months to live.

i hate that cancer robbed her

of her body

of her hair

of her strength

of her energy

of her appetite.

i love that it never robbed her

of her will to live

nor did it ever take away

the sparkle in her eyes.

i hate that her life was cut short

when she still had

so much life left in her.

i love that i had her for this long

when so many people out there

lose their mothers when they are children.

i hate that her leaving

forced my father to fend for himself

to make his meals

to clean the house

to be alone

to mourn the loss

and that it left an emptiness

in the house and in our hearts

that can never be filled again.

i love that i had her for a mother

and that the lessons she taught me

are now being passed on

to my own son

with deep love

and a tinge of sadness…

mom with Fluffy...

xox