Saturday, January 5, 2013

is it wrong for me to be inspired by me?

The act of painting is about one heart
telling another heart where he found salvation.
- Ai Weiwei

Do you ever have those nights (or days) where you feel like making art
but then when you sit in the chair, you're not so sure?

Those times of uncertainty...

will it be abstract?
from a photo?
do i feel like painting?

Tonight was one of those nights for me.

Not quite sure how i felt,
so not quite sure what i'd put to paper.

At this point (above), i thought i had fucked it up.

I hated it.

Hated the colours i had chosen, 
the buildings, etc.

But i kept going,
because i was listening to good blues
and very comfortable in my little blue room
and i kept reminding myself
that even if it doesn't feel right at this moment,
you just never know what a few little details might do.

And hence - a few little details that made me feel much better.

Just adding those little white circles in the blue
made a world of difference to me.

It just felt so much lighter.

Still not crazy about the buildings,
but the whole thing feels ok now.

It doesn't really matter how someone else sees it.
It's how you feel about it that matters, right?

You just never know what may inspire you to create certain art.

Our brains are sponges, absorbing everything around us.
Earlier today, i was looking at a few old photos.

This is me, many moons ago.

Can you see how this photo could have inspired
my sparkly, pink haired, hopeful girl?

I didn't consciously set out to paint myself
but now that i see it,
i think i may have inspired myself.

I'll leave you with this excerpt from a book called
Journals of a Solitude (May Sarton).

Whenever you feel like you should be doing this or that,
like you should be productive - 
read this little passage and remind yourself
that it's ok sometimes not to do anything.

It's more than ok.
It's necessary.

love and lollipops


  1. When I have those times when I'm not sure what I want to draw I usually waste loads of time on Pinterest and then wish I had just committed to drawing something - anything!!
    Your happy pink girl us perfect - love the long shadows from her feet!

  2. Wow, talk about transformations!
    You have a very intuitive mind.

  3. She is adorable :) and I believe it is absolutely ok to be inspired by you!

  4. Those days are the ones when I doodle - which I've been doing a lot lately.
    Your painting is gorgeous, and the final circles really bring a sparkle to it. If you sat me down with this painting and a four-year-old girl I could tell her a whole story around it - and the houses would feature largely in it because I know what is in them!
    I hope it's not rude of me to say that the beautiful little girl in the photo looks so much like the photo of your mom that you posted.

  5. Hello Pauline, what a great post! Your girlie turned out so bright and sparkly, like the sparkle in your childish eyes. Amazing what white paint and dots and circles does, a touch of magic that livens everything up! I love those words, oh they ring true, we sometimes need to stop, more than sometimes would be even better!

  6. Why shouldn't you inspire yourself? It makes a change from inspiring the rest of us :) x

  7. This happens...I mostly let it to be intuitive when that phase strikes :) At times I leave it for the moment and return, I also resort to photos once in a while.
    This interpretation of yourself just looks Great...Love how the small details just change the whole look! Love the additions :)

  8. Hi Pauline - It's amazing what you've done with this painting - with just some white dots, bubbles, and lines. I love your painting!

  9. Such a sweet painting Pauline, and weren't you just the cutie!! Thank you so much for that have no idea how well timed it is. Or you may guess by the lack of art on my blog lately... :-) xx

  10. I think it is definitely ok to inspire yourself! Look how it turned out :)

    I love it!

    Karen x

  11. It's imperative to creativity to have quiet times of nothing, so you can hear spirit whispers...

    What an absolutely adorable photo, such a cutie. Awesome painting!! You still look the same!!

    Lots of wisdom here!
    Hugs Giggles

  12. I agree - great post, and an inspiration to trust the flow and not to give up too easily! Wonderful!