is it wrong for me to be inspired by me?

The act of painting is about one heart

telling another heart where he found salvation.

- Ai Weiwei

Do you ever have those nights (or days) where you feel like making art
but then when you sit in the chair, you're not so sure?

Those times of uncertainty...

will it be abstract?
from a photo?
serious?
fun?
do i feel like painting?

Tonight was one of those nights for me.

Not quite sure how i felt,
so not quite sure what i'd put to paper.

At this point (above), i thought i had fucked it up.

I hated it.

Hated the colours i had chosen, 
the buildings, etc.

But i kept going,
because i was listening to good blues
and very comfortable in my little blue room
and i kept reminding myself
that even if it doesn't feel right at this moment,
you just never know what a few little details might do.

And hence - a few little details that made me feel much better.

Just adding those little white circles in the blue
made a world of difference to me.

It just felt so much lighter.

Still not crazy about the buildings,
but the whole thing feels ok now.

It doesn't really matter how someone else sees it.

It's how you feel about it that matters, right?

You just never know what may inspire you to create certain art.

Our brains are sponges, absorbing everything around us.
Earlier today, i was looking at a few old photos.

This is me, many moons ago.

Can you see how this photo could have inspired

my sparkly, pink haired, hopeful girl?

I didn't consciously set out to paint myself

but now that i see it,

i think i may have inspired myself.

(giggle)

I'll leave you with this excerpt from a book called

Journals of a Solitude (May Sarton).

Whenever you feel like you should be doing this or that,

like you should be productive - 

read this little passage and remind yourself

that it's ok sometimes not to do anything.

It's more than ok.

It's necessary.

love and lollipops

xox