blue skies

I am loving this winter

compared to the last!

- Pauline Leger :)

I took this photo just the other day

on my afternoon walk.

Can you see the second sun there? 

When I took the photo, 

i was blinded by the sun in my face

so i didn't notice anything else in the sky...

but who knows? 

Maybe it's a reflection of something in the lens,

or maybe it's another planet.

Either way, it's beautiful.

This (below) is a photo of our front yard

taken a few days ago.

..and this is the same view,

taken at about the same time last year!!

Ask me why i was so often down in the dumps.

(the snowplow, trying to clear our road last year. Yes, that was the ROAD)

I found last winter so difficult

(for more reasons than one)

and i wonder how you all put up

with my ranting & complaining all the time?

The main issue for me last year was this:

I worked at a job that i grew to hate.

It's a strong word, I know.

I tried to like it, i honestly did.

I tried to understand my co-workers.

I tried to take the advice of some people,

to just go in, do your job, and come home

but i just couldn't do it.

(my friends told me to not go back) :) 

The frustration stayed with me.

And my reasons for staying?

I had said YES.

I needed to work.

The money was good.

It was close to home.

It was only a 5 month contract.

Eventually though,

i started to notice a difference in me.

A difference I didn't like.

I was more often sick.

I would often wake with headaches.

I was losing patience 

far more often than i normally would.

I didn't want to see my friends much.

Everyone annoyed me

and everything just felt heavy.

Some would say that's just menopause -

and maybe some would be right... 

but i know it was more than that.

It was something deeper.

(and no, it wasn't depression)

So I finished my 5 month term
and i told myself I would never work again
in such a negative environment,
regardless of the money.
It may not be negative for everyone,
but it was negative for me.
Imagine putting an free spirited artist
(who is not interested in material wealth)
to work at Wall Street.
Yeah, it was kinda like that. 

And I say all of this because
i met with my doctor a few weeks ago
for a routine check up,
and the first thing she said was:
Wow. You look so much better
than the last time i saw you.

I told her about my decision
to stay away from work that drains me
and my starting a gratitude journal again,
and going outside whenever I can...
First, she said she was so happy for me.
Then she said:
i know a few things about you...
I know that you can't stand injustice & greed

I know you love art & making work that matters

and I know you're an introvert...

So how did you ever make the decision
to even apply for this job?
she asked with a smile on her face.
(she's a good doctor and she knows me well) :)

We all do things we don't wanna do sometimes.

That's life.

Very few people love their jobs all the time.

But deep down inside
when we are negatively affected
by the environment we are in,
we have to do everything in our power
to remove ourselves from that environment.
Deep down inside,
we all know what's good and what's bad for us.

So I let go.
I decided I wasn't going back to the same thing this year.
Letting go was exactly what I needed.
I am in such a better place now.

Letting go of expectations.
From others and myself.

Letting go of the idea that
I need to make a ton of money.
(Again, we need far less than we think.)
I'm happy for those who reach their financial goals
but if my goals are different (if i don't want the BMW)
then my LIFE will be different too.

Let go of society's definition of success.
Do your OWN thing.
If you work at a donut shop with fun people,
and you get up in the morning
and you're happy to go to work -
you are living a good life!
If you love crafts
and you work at a craft shop with fun people,
you are successful!
There are people who make $75,000/year
and who 'burn out' on a regular basis.
That is NOT my definition of a good life.

And speaking of a good life,
whenever i see photos on-line of someone's work space
i'm usually in awe of how clean it all looks.
Of course, we all know things aren't always as they SEEM.
Everything in its place.
Everything organized and tidy.
Not a speck of dust anywhere.
Well. 
Let's just say that's not me. ;)
This is part of my workspace
and it's on a good day.
With crap on every inch of the table...
and lots of stuff on the floor too!

Fluffy with a bad hair day.
We all have our bad hair days, right?
So we also have our bad/messy art table/floor days.

Blue skies...all the way.
Just for you.

Thanks for being here!
Have a great weekend everyone!
xx

life on other planets, the crazies and art.

hello friends.

It's been a strange couple of weeks

although if you ask me why

i can't give you an answer.

Maybe because it's that time of year,

maybe because of the way of the world,

maybe because I've not painted much lately.

Maybe because I'm writing more,

and because I'm watching

great documentaries

and reading great books

that remind me that

life is not the same for everyone

and we don't all see

through the same eyes.

Getting up in the morning

is easy for me.

It's hell for someone else.

I wake up to the sound of silence.

Others wake up to the sound of bombs,

or in incredible pain,

or hungry, 

or unloved.

I eat when I want.

Others don't.

This is a huge privilege

and it shouldn't be.

Governments are spending

billions on wars they create,

on defence budgets,

on space programs,

and there are still people on this planet

who don't eat.

That is a fucking BASIC need.

Food.

Clothing.

Shelter.

We send people in space

but we've yet to figure out a way

to feed the world.

I love science

but why are we concerning ourselves

with finding life on other planets

when we are not taking care

of the lives we have here,

on this planet?

Makes me crazy.
(hence, the crazy doodle) ;)
This makes as much sense to me
as those who sacrifice this life
for an eternal life after death.
And they usually kill others
in the process. 
I believe in life before death.
Not life after.
I guess i'm still trying to make sense
of something that will forever be
senseless.

And then, there's this...
We got our first snowfall last week. 

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Time to take out the music.

I just bought this one, and I love it.

But this one is still

my favorite of all time. :)

It's not Christmas until the Charlie Brown music comes on.

And then this happened. ;)
I may have shared this already
but it's cute, so I get to share it again.

Dad made Fluffy this little bed.

She totally loves being a princess.

She can do no wrong.

A few doodles from my 'draw your life' book.
A left handed drawing.

A few weeks ago,

I ordered this watercolor print from Prashant Miranda,

one of the great Sketchbook Skool teachers.

(They're all SO good)

Prash makes his home

between Canada and India.

Isn't it beautiful!?

I love it.

Love the bold colours.
He was so much fun as a teacher.
If you want your own print,
you can get it here.

And last, but not least...

If you purchase a copy of Color for Clarity by Jan 1st 2016,

you’ll receive a free e-book as our gift to you in thanks

for your support. Inside, you’ll find bonus colouring pages

and some great resources (several of which are free!)

to continue exploring your own creativity.

To claim your free e-book, forward your receipt

(or send a photo of Color for Clarity or other proof of purchase)

to me at:

paulinel@nb.sympatico.ca

and I'll send you your free e-book within a day or two.

And YES! Anyone who purchased the book when it was first released gets a FREE e-book as well!

If you haven’t grabbed your copy yet (and you know you want to) ;)

you can get it at:  http://colorforclarity.com/

And if you can, please leave us a review on Amazon!

We'd love to know how you like it.

Thanks for hanging out
and listening to my rants. ;)
xx

can you make the world a better place?

Of all the paths you take in life,

make sure a few of them are dirt.

- John Muir

Hello folks!
Here's a little glimpse of my world
during the past few weeks...

Today is Black Friday
and I'll be as far away from the stores & malls
as I can possibly get.
A frenzy of crazy, desperate shoppers...
One of my worst nightmares. ;)

I'll be going for a walk here instead

later this afternoon.

A much more centered, sane place for me.

And alas,

COLOR FOR CLARITY has arrived!

November 17th was the date of mom's passing -

3 years now -

and this was what it looked like outside.

It'll always be a sad day to me.

My mind naturally goes back

to that time,

to that room,

to those last moments.

I don't spend the whole day crying,

but I just wake up with a heavy heart

and I'm always relieved when nighttime falls.

But this year was different.

There was glimpse of happiness

in this dark, snowy day

when I received the box from Amazon

filled with our lovely books!

It's a strange thing

how "living in the moment"

takes so much effort sometimes.

The whole process of collaborating

on this colouring book

was great.

Choosing our words,

doing the illustrations,

sending them off,

dreaming of holding

COLOR FOR CLARITY in our hands.

And then we get them,

and of course it's exciting,

but within the first few minutes,

I was already thinking,

"What can I do next?!"

I literally had to stop myself,

sit myself down with the book,

smell it (like I do with most books) ;)

and slowly go through it page by page,

and only then,

i began to feel gratitude.

There's always a time and a place
to consider our next dream...

but it's important to appreciate
the moment of THIS dream
while it's here.

So fall is here
and winter is just around the corner
and although last winter was long
and cold
and snowy
and fucking depressing at times...
there's still a part of me
that loves the cocooning of this cold season.

I tend to write more, paint more,

and feel more grounded, for some reason.

With everything happening in the world,

it's more important than ever

for each of us to find our own

quiet, peaceful place.

To do what we can for others,

without losing ourselves.

Everyone has an opinion about everything.

The yahoos think they can solve world problems

when they can't even find their own socks.

I've come to realize this:
I.
can't.
save.
the.
world.

I can't solve world hunger.

I can't bring peace to everyone on earth.

It's too heavy a burden for me.

All I can do is make my own little corner

as peaceful as possible.

All I can do is my own little part,

here in this corner of the globe,

and hope that others do the same

in different little corners everywhere.

And sometimes,
that little part for me
means nothing more
than smiling at someone.

Sometimes it means giving a few dollars,
or food,
or sending a card
or clothes.
Sometimes it means 
putting myself in someone else's shoes
if only for a moment
and trying to understand their fears
and their crushed hopes
and their sense of desperation.

We live in a first world country
with first world problems
so most of us have no idea
what it's like to worry about your next meal.
Or about the safety of your children.
Or about making it through another day
alive.

So I've been playing in this little book
on and off since June.

As you can see,
some of my drawings & doodles
are far less serious than others. ;)

Books like this are designed
to encourage bad drawings...
which are as important as good drawings.
I am nowhere near perfect
so why should my drawings be?

I hate even the word "perfection".
Or anyone who strives for perfection.
Perfection is not truth.
If anything,
it's farthest from the truth.
Which is probably why i dislike social media so much...
because we see a LOT of "untruths".
A lot of "pretend perfect lives".
The happy faces.
The happy wheels.
The happy meals. ;)

And on that note,
THANK YOU to everyone who bought
a COLOR FOR CLARITY colouring book
and those who helped encourage and inspire me
along the way.
It may be a small, dinky dream to some,
but small dreams are still sweet. :)
oh, and newsflash...
I'll be doing a giveaway of Color for Clarity
right HERE in the next week or so!!
Come back for a visit soon
if you want your name to be entered in the draw!
hugs to all of you.
xx

ps: Visit Amazon.com if you want to buy your own copy of Color for Clarity today!