blue skies

I am loving this winter

compared to the last!

- Pauline Leger :)

I took this photo just the other day

on my afternoon walk.

Can you see the second sun there? 

When I took the photo, 

i was blinded by the sun in my face

so i didn't notice anything else in the sky...

but who knows? 

Maybe it's a reflection of something in the lens,

or maybe it's another planet.

Either way, it's beautiful.

This (below) is a photo of our front yard

taken a few days ago.

..and this is the same view,

taken at about the same time last year!!

Ask me why i was so often down in the dumps.

(the snowplow, trying to clear our road last year. Yes, that was the ROAD)

I found last winter so difficult

(for more reasons than one)

and i wonder how you all put up

with my ranting & complaining all the time?

The main issue for me last year was this:

I worked at a job that i grew to hate.

It's a strong word, I know.

I tried to like it, i honestly did.

I tried to understand my co-workers.

I tried to take the advice of some people,

to just go in, do your job, and come home

but i just couldn't do it.

(my friends told me to not go back) :) 

The frustration stayed with me.

And my reasons for staying?

I had said YES.

I needed to work.

The money was good.

It was close to home.

It was only a 5 month contract.

Eventually though,

i started to notice a difference in me.

A difference I didn't like.

I was more often sick.

I would often wake with headaches.

I was losing patience 

far more often than i normally would.

I didn't want to see my friends much.

Everyone annoyed me

and everything just felt heavy.

Some would say that's just menopause -

and maybe some would be right... 

but i know it was more than that.

It was something deeper.

(and no, it wasn't depression)

So I finished my 5 month term
and i told myself I would never work again
in such a negative environment,
regardless of the money.
It may not be negative for everyone,
but it was negative for me.
Imagine putting an free spirited artist
(who is not interested in material wealth)
to work at Wall Street.
Yeah, it was kinda like that. 

And I say all of this because
i met with my doctor a few weeks ago
for a routine check up,
and the first thing she said was:
Wow. You look so much better
than the last time i saw you.

I told her about my decision
to stay away from work that drains me
and my starting a gratitude journal again,
and going outside whenever I can...
First, she said she was so happy for me.
Then she said:
i know a few things about you...
I know that you can't stand injustice & greed

I know you love art & making work that matters

and I know you're an introvert...

So how did you ever make the decision
to even apply for this job?
she asked with a smile on her face.
(she's a good doctor and she knows me well) :)

We all do things we don't wanna do sometimes.

That's life.

Very few people love their jobs all the time.

But deep down inside
when we are negatively affected
by the environment we are in,
we have to do everything in our power
to remove ourselves from that environment.
Deep down inside,
we all know what's good and what's bad for us.

So I let go.
I decided I wasn't going back to the same thing this year.
Letting go was exactly what I needed.
I am in such a better place now.

Letting go of expectations.
From others and myself.

Letting go of the idea that
I need to make a ton of money.
(Again, we need far less than we think.)
I'm happy for those who reach their financial goals
but if my goals are different (if i don't want the BMW)
then my LIFE will be different too.

Let go of society's definition of success.
Do your OWN thing.
If you work at a donut shop with fun people,
and you get up in the morning
and you're happy to go to work -
you are living a good life!
If you love crafts
and you work at a craft shop with fun people,
you are successful!
There are people who make $75,000/year
and who 'burn out' on a regular basis.
That is NOT my definition of a good life.

And speaking of a good life,
whenever i see photos on-line of someone's work space
i'm usually in awe of how clean it all looks.
Of course, we all know things aren't always as they SEEM.
Everything in its place.
Everything organized and tidy.
Not a speck of dust anywhere.
Well. 
Let's just say that's not me. ;)
This is part of my workspace
and it's on a good day.
With crap on every inch of the table...
and lots of stuff on the floor too!

Fluffy with a bad hair day.
We all have our bad hair days, right?
So we also have our bad/messy art table/floor days.

Blue skies...all the way.
Just for you.

Thanks for being here!
Have a great weekend everyone!
xx

how nature always helps keep me in line

hi everyone! 

It's Friday here, a beautiful, sunny fall day. 

There's a lot of heaviness in the air for me during this time,

but i'm posting anyway.

I wanted to post earlier, but my heart just wasn't in it.

It still isn't, but i'm posting at least a little something

so you won't think i've run off with a circus freak or something.

Not that there's anything wrong with that...(wink wink)

Sometimes I want to paint or draw what i feel,

and other times (like here) i want to paint or draw someone else

who looks like they're feeling what i'm feeling.

A safer distance for me sometimes. :-)

This is pastel on paper.

There's just no way to feel good about seeing a loved one suffer.

It's important during difficult times to remind ourselves

of the good stuff.

So this morning, I went for a nice long walk in the cool morning air,

then I sat outside for a half hour with my coffee,

and listened to the chirping birds

and watched the leaves dance in the wind

and the squirrels chase each other around the yard.

My mind wanted to race to the bad stuff-

the worry

the illness

the why's and 

the what if's...

But i gently moved those dirty little thoughts over,

and focused on the squirrels and the birds,

and reminded myself that whatever happens,

i'll handle it, and that despite everything,

life is still good.

Sometimes, we need to look a little deeper for the good stuff,

but it's still there.

I hesitated to show you pics of my studio in my last blog post
because i always find it a bit chi chi poo poo (yes, it's a made up word) 
whenever i hear an artist talk about his or her studio.

Here's a little secret folks.

you don't need a studio to be an artist,
and having a studio doesn't MAKE you an artist. :-)

Making art makes you an artist,
not the space you do it in.

Not just TALKING about art, but making art.

For years, i painted on the kitchen table. I still do sometimes.
That's where i did this pastel. 

For years, i was without a space,
and it was totally ok.
For me, it really doesn't matter where i create,
as long as i have a little space somewhere
and i hope it doesn't matter to you either.

The cavemen had cave walls, and they still found a way to make art! ;-)

Here are a few pics i took yesterday, near my home.

Enjoy the view, and have a wonderful weekend!

this lone red tree just made me smile...