to be chosen, or not to be chosen...

hello everyone...

I've been writing more than making art these days.

Yup. 

Almost a year already since mom's been gone.

I'm still going through her things, slowly.

Found this little glass flower in a box.

June.

The month of my birth.

I'm guessing mom wanted to give this to me.

Most of the things i find

make me smile

but the occasional find

makes me sad

that she is no longer here.

Sad that she suffered.

Sad that she still wanted to do

so much.

Without wanting to offend anyone,

it makes me cringe

whenever i hear someone say

"prayer works".

It didn't work for mom.

It didn't work for my friend Liz

who died at 50,

leaving two young & sad boys behind.

It doesn't work

for many of you out there,

who are suffering, one way or another.

Who are living difficult lives.

It just makes me sad

when we say these things

because it implies that prayer works for some

and not for others

and so it must mean

that the others didn't pray enough,

or to the right god,

or that god picks & chooses who he listens to.

Either way,

it's all nonsense to me.

To believe this divides us more than unites us.

Life is a cycle.

Good things happen

and bad things happen

regardless of how much

or how little you pray.

The strength you need

when darker days fall upon you

comes from LOVE

more than prayer.

Anyone who has seen the stars in the sky,

the sunset and the sunrise,

understands how sacred life is

and how this is all the prayer

one really needs.

xox

how to ease your heart and make you ok with the world again

We learn resignation not by our own suffering,

but by the suffering of others.

W. Somerset Maugham

Mom ended up in the hospital again these past days,

hence my absence.

I love making art and posting something here

at least every other day,

but sometimes, life happens,

and it's just not as important.

It's never easy to watch a loved one suffer,

and yet, such is life.

Good days and bad...

and when the heart is too unsettled to even think of making art,

i write.

i watch a movie.

I go for a walk near the ocean

and throw questions to the wind

without expecting any answers.

And when my heart is ready again,

i paint.

I draw.

I write some more.

I put my emotions to paper (or canvas)

and with each brush stroke,

or pen line...

the burden is lifted, little by little,

and although i still feel sad,

i feel more grounded and whole again.

It is my therapy.

Art does for me what religion does for others.

Sometimes, you just need to sit with the uncertainty.

(a quick sketch from the hospital...)

Wishing you all a wonderful Thursday.

I look forward to visiting many of your blogs

in the next few days.

Oh, and the good news?!

There is a cool front coming in

and the weather should be less humid and hot

for the next few days/weeks!!

HOOO-AH!!

;-)

quick sketches & dreams...

100 years ago today, the Titanic set sail from Southampton,

and thousands of dreams died...

(stay tuned the next few days for a few

paintings & stories I want to share)

Just a few quick sketches today,

from last night.

I sketched it while watching TV with my son,

who unfortunately, tuned into "Strange addictions" -

another reality show about mental illness, basically.

My son is 16, so he just thinks it's cool.

:-)

A friend of mine used to joke that we were all mentally ill -

just at different levels.

Somehow, it doesn't seem so funny anymore. 

Sometimes I think we're not far off from the Romans

feeding Christians to the lions...

Millions of people tune in

to watch the suffering of others.

I don't get it.

Maybe it brings us a strange comfort

to know that someone else on the planet

has more issues than we do?

Maybe it makes us feel like we're ok after all?

As long as it's someone else's home

overflowing with clothes 

and junk

and food

and dead cats under piles of debris...

We're ok.

I can't imagine tuning into such shows

on a weekly basis.

That in itself would be enough

to drive me to the edge

of insanity. 

But my son laughed at a few things

and we had a good chat about it

after it was done.

I'm happy his heart is in the right place.

Wishing you all a day filled with 

awesome-ness,

and a home filled with love & comfort
rather than things.

:-)