put a little love in your heart...

I used to think that i could love everyone

(just like jesus and mother teresa!)

and that everyone deserved to be loved.

(acrylic and colored pencils on paper)

I used to think this was my life purpose.

To love everyone in my path, no matter what.

A flower child.

Then life happened.

I read about the Holocaust.

I learned about slavery.

I saw the Killing Fields

and Mississippi Burning

and Mahatma Ghandi…

I heard about the Beslan school massacre in 2004

and couldn't believe what was happening...

Then there were other school shootings.

And rape victims in India.

And Apartheid in Africa.

And injustice in Tibet.

I worked in the prison system

and met men who killed children

just for fun.

And then i began to realize

that I would not be able to love everyone in my path,

and that was ok.

Some days, i would be lucky to get through the day

without punching someone in the face -

let alone "love them". ;-)

With each story i heard,

with each year that passed,

with each job i held,

my circle of "people to love" was reduced

from world

to country

to city

to family

and eventually - to me.

Which is where it should have started

in the first place

but you don't know this when you're 14. :-)

I eventually understood

that there was more to life than loving everyone.

I eventually understood

that some things - i would never understand. 

(pen and watercolor on paper)

I'm ok with this now -

that i am able to love some

and not others.

That in order for me to make the best of ME,

I need to surround myself with people

who inspire me and make me feel good,

and I need to keep my distance from others.

That with some people

my heart is open

and with others

it is guarded.

Some people are easy to love.

Others - not so much.

(me at 14)

Maybe eventually,

i'll work my way up to loving the whole world again. ;-)

Who knows.

I'm told miracles happen.

xox