art in the real world

They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom

For trying to change the system from within

- Leonard Cohen, First we take Manhattan

I suspect we all share similar life experiences -

at least in our day to day grind...

I wake up (already luckier than some!)

i go to work

(at a job that does little to inspire me)

run errands,

rush home,

prepare meals, 

do housework,

and carve little bits of time where i can

for some sanity

which for me - includes

music, painting or writing.

The 9 to 5 stuff is just filler.
Stuff that pays the bills
and does very little for my heart.

Sometimes, i feel like the "filler"
is taking up far too much of my time
and there is little time (or energy) left
for the good for my heart stuff.

but then, i read a passage in a book

that lights a fire up my ass

and I am reminded that many of us
are in the same boat...

many artists are doing something other than art
to make a living
and it's all ok
as long as you're finding time somewhere
to make art anyway!

Once in a while, i need to remind myself
of the importance of art in the world.
In my world.

Once in a while, i need to remind myself
that what i love most about making art
besides the process of creating itself -
is the sharing with the world.
With all of you...
But it took me long to get here.
It took me a while to get this comfortable
with sharing my art (and my world) with strangers.
(Of course, many of you are no longer strangers, 
and many still have become friends. xx)
So i fully understand the fear 
of putting yourself out there,
but it is oh so worth it.

The passage i read was this one:
(from the book THE VIEW from the Studio Door, by Ted Orland)

It may not matter in absolute terms
whether you play to an audience of one,
or an audience of everyone,
but until your art reaches out
and touches someone,
it's like the proverbial tree 
falling in an empty forest...
Simply put, the things that matter to you -
the stories you have to tell -
exist to be shared.
So the questions arise:
Who is the real audience for your art?
Where would you hope to find your art ten years from now?
In art galleries?
On magazine covers?
In your family scrapbook?
Engraved in the memories of people you've never met?
If you hope to make art that matters,
the first question to ask is:
Matters to whom?
To God?
To the world?
To the Art world?
To your friends?
To yourself alone?

 Ponder on that one for a bit...

Aren't these words wonderful food for thought?
This passage just makes me happy
because it brings me that much closer
to understanding why i do what i do.

I want my art to be engraved in the memories
of people i've never met.
That's why i make art.
A few years ago, I sold a painting on ETSY
called Soul Sisters...
(you can see the print here)
The woman who bought it sent me an email
to tell me she was buying it for her sister,
who had cancer, 
and who was undergoing chemo treatment at the time.
She had the print framed,
and a few months later sent me a photo
of herself and her sister,
with my framed Soul Sisters print.
My heart melted.
And that's when i fully understood
my reasons for making art.
It's all about connection.
It's all about making a difference, somehow
even if only for ONE person.

And on that note,
if this one person wouldn't have bought me
this beautiful little journal book -
I may have never been inspired
to fill its pages and share them with you!
(thank you to my good friend, Lucille)...
And now, I begin a new one! Yay!
(is there anything more exciting than a new journal?!?)

Thank you all for being here with me.
Wishing you a wonderful week.
xx

Sylvia Plath is watching me

Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.

- Sylvia Plath

Sylvia Plath.

Writer.

Poet.

Mother.
Lover.

I'll never understand how a woman with such promise

could barricade her own young children in a room

with cookies & milk,

open the window,

place a towel on the bottom of the door,

go to the kitchen,

put her own head in the gas oven,

and turn on the gas...

I guess i'll never understand depression...

She died at the age of 30,

in 1963... 

the year i was born.

I had a hard time with this portrait.

Something in the eyes made me uncomfortable...

I know, it's nuts, right?

it's a black & white photocopy of a photo -

but still...

i felt as though she watched me.

a few pages from this book.

Food for thought,

for all the artists out there.

i love what he says here...

and if I can relate, i KNOW many of you will relate also.

A song for Sylvia...

and for Eva...

am i the only crazy one out here?

Greetings Munchkins!

It's been a struggle for me lately to make art.
To make time...
to feel inspired...
to be in the right heart space...
(heart space is always more important than head space)

For those of you out there
who blog and share your art with the world...
do you ever wonder why you do?
I do.
i've been thinking on this a lot lately.
Initially, i did it for me.
I began blogging and sharing because i wanted to get
more comfortable with having my work out there.

Then it slowly transitioned into
less about me
and more about others...
Without wanting to sound religious,
I felt like i could be of service somehow.
Like this was my way
of giving back to the world.
If i could inspire or encourage ONE person out there to make art
(and thus to feel happier, because making art = feeling happier),
then my job was done.
The more people i could inspire
to make that connection with their own hearts - 
and shut the rest of the world off,
the happier this planet would be. 
Did i really believe this?
(yes, i secretly did - and still do)

The world may be happier just one tiny person at a time,
one tiny heart at a time,
but it'll be happier, because that's what art does.
That's what music does.
That's what nature does.
That's what poetry does.
It makes us forget about the yucky stuff that surrounds us -
the things that  suffocate us during the day...
like crappy jobs
and toxic relationships
& burdened responsibilities -

and it somehow connects us

to what really matters to us.

Not to others.

Not to the company, or the husband,

or the bank, or the market, or the wife,

or the boss, or the neighbours, or society...

to us.

It's easy to feel intimidated into
shutting up, isn't it?
When everyone around us seems to be
a success - and we're not.
When everyone seems to know the secret -
and we don't.
With the internet at our fingertips,
it's easier than ever to compare ourselves to others...
so it's that much more important
to keep connected to
our own hearts
and to be grateful that we have this connection
when so many others
seem to have lost their way.

And speaking of hearts and connections...
i watched a documentary called BLACKFISH,
about the killer whales in captivity in theme parks
around the world.
I felt such sadness for these beautiful creatures
that i was inspired to paint again
after days (weeks?) of a dry spell...

i love that art is able to do this.
I think about music sometimes
and i wonder how many hearts
would have drowned in sorrow,
if musicians or composers hadn't sat themselves down
to write/play what they had been feeling in their hearts?
How many hearts HAVE drowned in sorrow
because someone chose not to write?

Art allows me to take sadness
from the pit of my stomach
and put it on paper so it doesn't eat up
my insides.
It may sound stupid to some,
(and totally useless for the whales)
but it makes sense to me.
It's important to me.
So I do it.

I've always been overly sensitive

about the suffering of animals

(hence, the suffering of man...) 

and somehow, putting it on paper

gives my feelings a voice

and eases my own suffering.

Only after i give my feelings a voice through art

can i actually think straight enough

to ACT and do something (if i choose so)

Now i'm inspired to write,
but it's getting late and i must say goodnight!
I'll be back soon.

Wishing you all a week filled with inspiration
and courageous hearts!
xox

For those interested, here's the trailer for the film...