Sunday, February 15, 2015

selfies and why I love life

What art offers is space -
a certain breathing room for the spirt.
- John Updike, American writer
29 faces of February!
day 11... Micron pen on paper
day 12 - acrylic on paper
day 13 - sharpie marker on paper
day 14 - sharpie thin marker on paper
and today, day 15
This one looks more like me
than any of the others I think...
although i must admit,
i'm getting really tired of looking at myself
so i can just imagine how you all feel by now.
I really like the little cartoon series
and they're quick to do,
so you may be seeing more of those
in the coming days.

Layers of snow in the patio door this morning...
I thought it was kinda cool...
Being bombarded by another snowstorm.
Not so cool.
50+cm today, and more tomorrow.
This is the view from our front window.
It was pretty 2 months ago.
The only pretty thing about it now
is the possibility of another snow day tomorrow!
(do i hear an amen?)
I wanna say thank you for your comments.
I love them because it reminds me
that there is someone out there - reading.

But after reading a few of the last comments
i want to say this:
I am far from being wise.
Let's just say i'm wise enough to know
that I really know very little.

And Arti, I don't always keep it together.
Sometimes, I lose it.
You just have to look at a few
of those self portraits to know I lose it.
Sometimes I drive to work thinking:
how the hell did I get this far away
from my path in life?
What happened to the dreams I had 
years ago?
Why am I not living them yet?
Why do i not have my shit together already?
Why is the world in such a mess?

I am grateful for what I have
and where I am and who I am,
but like everyone - I have bad days.
Those are usually the days where I need to make art.
Where I need to write.
Where I need to call a friend.
Where I need to believe what's in my own heart,
so that i can feel grounded again
and not so "off the path".
When we're surrounded by greed
and consumerism
and materialism
and McMansions
and shiny new every things...
it's sometimes difficult to stay true to ourselves.

And yes, Sheila, you are absolutely right -
we do need to find a balance
that's right for us
between work & play.
Somewhere in the world,
someone feels rich if they have one pair of shoes,
or if they own a bicycle,
or get one square meal a day.
Some people need $100,000 in the bank
to feel comfortable,
and some need far less.
I need less.
A lot less.
It doesn't mean I'm any better (or worse)
it only means that I won't live my life
towards that goal, because
it's not an important goal to me.
Having a shiny new car
is not important to me.
Having the best of everything
is not important to me.
What IS important to me
is time.
Being grateful for the time I have
right now.
Not the time I'll have when i'm 60 or 65,
or when my bank account is full,
but now.
I'll happily do with less things,
so that I can have more time to myself
to make art and to write and to be with friends.
When I mentioned in my past post
that I was already rich in the heart,
this is what I mean.
I am healthy (and so already, more wealthy than many)

I have time to myself (not as much as i want, but more than most)

I have friends & family who love me.

I know what I like & what I don't like.

I have more than enough food & warm shelter.

I am more comfortable in my own skin than I ever was.

I am comfortable with people not liking me.
(as long as the important ones do - that's all that matters)

I have wonderful memories and stories in my heart to tell.
Money can't buy these things.


  1. Hi Pauline. All I can say is that as long as you are willing to write and share, I'm eager to read your words and thoughts. So many times your words sound like my thoughts! The day 15 sketch is fab. The cartoon you is here to stay with many more tales to tell. xx

    1. Arti, thank you so much for your kind words. I'm so happy our paths crossed. It makes me feel good to know you're out there, reading my ramblings... xx

  2. Pauline , why are your self portraits so sad and serious ? As a good friend, I see you as a happy, grounded, wise and almost always a smile on your face. Could it be because of all this snow we're having? the job? maybe not enough wine? We need to go out and discuss this issue haha !!

    1. hahahah! Yes Lucille, you are so right. My sad face is surely because of the SNOW!! :-) Actually, I'm just concentrating on my face in the mirror, and it happens to be serious most of the time. Plus, it feels really strange to me to draw myself while i'm smiling. ;-) MERCI pour tes commentaires! i know how busy you are, so i totally appreciate that you take the time. xx