Sunday, March 22, 2015

lost and found in a snowstorm

Yup.
It's official!
I am at that age where everyone
and everything
is getting on my nerves.
Menopause.
Or as i refer to it:
Mentalpause.
;)
And if this damn snow continues
i swear, I'm gonna blow a fucking fuse. 
Yes, it's storming again today.
Winter began here later than usual (late December)
but it seems like we've had one storm after another.
Everyone's grumpy, (or maybe it's just me...)
everyone has cabin fever,
half our roads are still not plowed,
tonight, they predict -30C...
and the wind out there sounds like it's gonna
rip the roof right off the house.
So instead of painting pretty flowers
and rainbows and turquoise oceans...
what do I paint?
Snow.
The storm.
Cause it's all I know these days.
It's all i feel.
On a good note,
I am reading this lovely book.

Part of the inside flap reads:
Millie Bird, seven years old and
ever hopeful,
always wears red gumboots
to match her curly hair.
Her struggling mother,
grieving the death of Millie's father,
leaver her in the big ladies'
underwear department of a local store
and never returns.
 it's funny, it's sad
...and today, i read this passage (below)
and it made me cry.
Books don't often do that to me
but when one does...
wow.
Ranks right up there
with newborn babies
and sunsets
and music born out of pain.
xx

Sunday, March 15, 2015

remembering the good and the bad

In 2010, a good friend of mine
was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.
She was 50.
She was a good mother.
She was a professional photographer,
a nature lover,
a woman filled with wisdom
and hilarious as hell.
The illustration below
is from one of her self portraits.
When my own mother was diagnosed
with the same cancer in 2011,
Liz would send me words of wisdom
to share with mom
about what she could expect from chemotherapy.
It feels like being hit
by a fucking freight train!
she would say.
And then she would add:
but tell your mom things get better!
For a week after chemo,
she's gonna feel pretty useless...
drained of all energy -
but then after that, 
every day is gonna feel
like a gift from the gods!
Liz died on March 16, 2011
Mom died on Nov 17, 2012

This little piece of writing
was inspired by Liz.

I had a friend who had beautiful feet.
She didn’t think they were beautiful
because her mother told her they were ugly.
Told her she was ugly and stupid
and that she would never amount to anything.
She believed her mom for too long
and set her expectations lower and lower
until they were not far off the ground.
My friend died and left two boys.
She told her boys every day
that they could do anything in life
and that they had
the most beautiful feet
in the world.

Monday, March 9, 2015

Is winter really that bad? ok, never mind.

hi everyone!
Can you feel the coldness in these photos?
This is the frozen ocean -
and those little dots you see in the distance
are fishing huts.
The wind was fierce out by the open ocean,
so i escaped to these little paths again...
a bit more sheltered by the trees,
even though the branches are bare. :)
I thought this was beautiful
the way that little bit of sunlight
shone through the trees in the distance.
We're all pretty tired of winter at this point
but whenever I go out walking in the paths,
with the sound of crunching snow beneath my boots,
I'm kinda happy it's still winter.
Kinda.
Just a little.
A wee little... ;)
 When i got home, i started this...
(acrylic on paper)
 Markings and a mess...

You'd think I was on acid sometimes.
I'm not.
It's all music & mood, baby! ;)
And speaking of mood,
i bought myself this nail color.
I can't remember the last time i wore nail polish.
But i like this baby blue color so much
I had to buy it.
(water-colour + color pencils on paper)
And of course, i can't say baby blue
without posting this video
and i can't hear this song ever again
without thinking of Walter White
and Breaking Bad.
:)
Wishing you all a baby blue sky
with tiny cracks of sunlight everywhere.