a rough day gives way to a good night...

I think the reward for conformity

is that everyone likes you except yourself.
- Rita Mae Brown

 I had a rough day at work today...

so rather than complain about it
and let the crappy day invade my quiet evening -
i thought i'd do something that centers me instead.
Something that grounds me
and calms my soul
and makes me feel like the world is ok again.
Write.
Cut.
Collage.
Paint. 

i had done this image a while back,

in pastel. (below)

I started this journal a while ago,

to give to my son on his 18th birthday,

in a couple of weeks

and i wrote in here tonight.

I kept lots of journals in my younger days

and somehow,

with all the moving around we did,

with deep regret

I lost them all.

i thought it would be cool

to give my son a glimpse into his childhood

from my perspective as a mom.

Had i known at the time
it would become filled with more than just writing -
i would have chosen a more appropriate journal. 
I started it when he was about 4 or 5
sort of record of his days,
what he loved doing
his favorite foods,
who his friends were,
and i quickly began adding things
and adding
and adding...
like this precious illustration
from one of his friends
when they were just little boys.

...or this invitation to a birthday party...

...or this card he made for us, for Christmas...

 ...or this one, that my mom gave him.
A grandmother reminding her grandson
how much she loved him
and believed in him.
(sniff, sniff...)

And so now,

the journal looks like this (below)

and i regret not having planned ahead. 

Still, i know he's going to cherish it

because he (like me) loves writing

and keeping little bits of paper around him. 

how fucking cool was this little guy?

A face only a mother could love?

I think not...

(giggle)

And then this precious writing
that i treasure more than anything...
My grandmother's writing (mom's mother).
I moved out to Western Canada when i was younger
and she often wrote me.
I kept her letters
and scanned this one line that reads:

Goodbye, from your grandmother

who will never forget you.

I'll be putting a copy of this
in my son's journal as well.
He never knew his great grandmother
but he would have loved her, no doubt.
Everyone did. :-)

Thanks for being here, munchkins.
love & lollipops, and a feel good song
to bring you warmth on this 
freezing winter night (for us!)
xox