is that everyone likes you except yourself. - Rita Mae Brown
I had a rough day at work today...
so rather than complain about it and let the crappy day invade my quiet evening - i thought i'd do something that centers me instead. Something that grounds me and calms my soul and makes me feel like the world is ok again. Write. Cut. Collage. Paint.
i had done this image a while back,
in pastel. (below)
I started this journal a while ago,
to give to my son on his 18th birthday,
in a couple of weeks
and i wrote in here tonight.
I kept lots of journals in my younger days
and somehow,
with all the moving around we did,
with deep regret
I lost them all.
i thought it would be cool
to give my son a glimpse into his childhood
from my perspective as a mom.
Had i known at the time it would become filled with more than just writing - i would have chosen a more appropriate journal. I started it when he was about 4 or 5 sort of record of his days, what he loved doing his favorite foods, who his friends were, and i quickly began adding things and adding and adding... like this precious illustration from one of his friends when they were just little boys.
...or this invitation to a birthday party...
...or this card he made for us, for Christmas...
...or this one, that my mom gave him. A grandmother reminding her grandson how much she loved him and believed in him. (sniff, sniff...)
And so now,
the journal looks like this (below)
and i regret not having planned ahead.
Still, i know he's going to cherish it
because he (like me) loves writing
and keeping little bits of paper around him.
how fucking cool was this little guy?
A face only a mother could love?
I think not...
(giggle)
And then this precious writing that i treasure more than anything... My grandmother's writing (mom's mother). I moved out to Western Canada when i was younger and she often wrote me. I kept her letters and scanned this one line that reads:
Goodbye, from your grandmother
who will never forget you.
I'll be putting a copy of this in my son's journal as well. He never knew his great grandmother but he would have loved her, no doubt. Everyone did. :-)
Thanks for being here, munchkins. love & lollipops, and a feel good song to bring you warmth on this freezing winter night (for us!) xox
I don't know about you, but my weeks seem to fly by...
I got a bit of art done this week, although very little. Not sure whether it's the cold outside or the busier days, or the lack of focus in one place, but i seem stuck in a dry spell lately.
So I've been spending some time clearing space. Sorting out papers, throwing things out, organizing. We gather so much crap through the years, don't we?
But this quick little painting found its way into my studio one night... I don't know anything about Marguerite Duras, except that i liked her face - that strong, "not a care in the world" look... And i liked the way she sat here, the way she held that cigarette, the wine glass on the table...
i wanted a rough look,
no detail,
no normal colors,
because she somehow strikes me like someone
who doesn't do normal.
Oh, and on another
completely different note...
we saw the movie THE DALLAS BUYERS CLUB last night,
based on the life of Ron Woodroof,
who died of AIDS in 1992.
The movie was a little slow at times,
but i loved it and thought the acting was superb.
Not only were the actors dangerously thin,
as most AIDS victims were...
but the look in their eyes - that sickly, hopeless look.
I loved how Ron Woodroof was given 3 months to live,
and ended up living 7 years.
I don't understand people who are homophobic.
I never did.
I remember when the AIDS epidemic was as its peak,
and there was rarely a day
where we didn't read about someone else dying of AIDS...
and what i remember most about those days,
is this quilt.
This memorial quilt, in 1987, in Washington...
Every patch represented a person
who had died of AIDS.
Someone's son.
Someone's friend.
Someone's father.
SOMEONE.
A person.
A human being.
We are too quick to pass judgement
on someone who chooses to live their life
different than ours -
we are quick to pass judgement
on someone who's values aren't pure, in our eyes.
And yet - if they are not hurting anyone,
what business of ours is it to judge?
It may not seem like a big deal today,
but 30 years ago,
when the whole world seemed against the gay community,
it took a lot of courage to be openly gay.
Sadly for some, it still does today.
I have nothing but admiration
for anyone with such love & courage in their hearts.
