to be chosen, or not to be chosen...

hello everyone...

I've been writing more than making art these days.

Yup. 

Almost a year already since mom's been gone.

I'm still going through her things, slowly.

Found this little glass flower in a box.

June.

The month of my birth.

I'm guessing mom wanted to give this to me.

Most of the things i find

make me smile

but the occasional find

makes me sad

that she is no longer here.

Sad that she suffered.

Sad that she still wanted to do

so much.

Without wanting to offend anyone,

it makes me cringe

whenever i hear someone say

"prayer works".

It didn't work for mom.

It didn't work for my friend Liz

who died at 50,

leaving two young & sad boys behind.

It doesn't work

for many of you out there,

who are suffering, one way or another.

Who are living difficult lives.

It just makes me sad

when we say these things

because it implies that prayer works for some

and not for others

and so it must mean

that the others didn't pray enough,

or to the right god,

or that god picks & chooses who he listens to.

Either way,

it's all nonsense to me.

To believe this divides us more than unites us.

Life is a cycle.

Good things happen

and bad things happen

regardless of how much

or how little you pray.

The strength you need

when darker days fall upon you

comes from LOVE

more than prayer.

Anyone who has seen the stars in the sky,

the sunset and the sunrise,

understands how sacred life is

and how this is all the prayer

one really needs.

xox

how rhythm makes everything good again...

In the beginning was noise.

And noise begat rhythm.

And rhythm begat everything else.

- Mickey Hart

I went for a nice walk this morning in the crisp fall air.

Sometimes, i lose my own rhythm

and before i know it,

a week has passed without morning walks

and i feel totally out of synch with everything.

Life takes over sometimes

and then it's up to each one of us

to find our own happy place again.

Nature is one of my happy places.

 Art in my blue room is another... :-)

I'm working on illustrations for a little book about Valentines.

A very young and creative relative of mine wrote a cute little story

and I'm putting together a little book for her.

(If any of my relatives are reading this,

PLEASE don't say a word. It's a surprise for her...)

I had fun doing these...
good and bad cupid. 
I'll post the little book once it's done.

forgive me if i've posted this before,
but i just love these illustrations by David Shannon.
From this book...
(its original title is probably "No David!")

i love how the illustrations tell the story.

you just know by seeing this

that it's about a little boy who gets into mischief...

this one always cracks me up...
When i grow up,
i wanna do these kinds of illustrations.
 

or this kind...

is this not the cutest thing you've ever seen?

Check out the slippers...and the mouse pillow!

Such imagination.

and just by looking at this,
can't you tell she might be bossy?!
The best part of doing illustrations for a book (to me)
is reading the story the first time
and sketching out the images
that first come to mind.
Of course, rendering the illustrations is fun too...

So while i'm busy doing things for others,

and living my life,

I'm also trying to carve little bits of time

for my own book.

It's overwhelming - but exciting.

Nigel had great advice for me on one of his comments...

"stop thinking about it and just do it".

Yes Nigel. Thank you.

I can think things to death.

(have you noticed?)

I'm comforted when i see things like this.

I hardly ever feel in complete control.

(it's a good thing, right?)

Wishing you all a great weekend.

And to those who celebrate...

Happy Thanksgiving!

xox

it's a bird... it's a plane... WTF is it?

hello everyone!

Last night's painting session

on large poster size paper/bristol board.

Sometimes, i feel like using a larger format,

but i don't really know what i'll be painting

and i never want to waste large canvas

in case it ends up looking like crap.

So i use poster paper. :-)

i started out with finger painting...

again... my fingers

by this stage, i picked up the brush

birds in the forest...
but i hated the left side.
The orange, yellow, greenish part
that looks like there's a tree on fire.

So i decided to add white & texture.
I used a plastic hair curler thing -
one of the many tools i buy at the dollar store
specifically for art textures.

i also use sponges, 
or whatever else i have in the house at the time.

 filled in some spaces with turquoise, black, white...

a close up of the bird...

this was taken this morning,
in natural light.

and look! i added some red.

Making art is a lot about daring to get away 
from our comfort zone, isn't it?

We're tempted to stay
where it's familiar
where we know exactly which color to use,
or which shape to draw.
There's nothing wrong with doing this,
but if you stick with doing this too long,
I believe the art becomes stagnant.
Predictable.
Safe.

It's good to feel scared when making art.
It's good to not always like what you see.
It's good to give ourselves permission to make bad art.
To use unfamiliar colors.
To make a mess.

It's in the MAKING that the magic occurs.

I read a story somewhere about a woman
who was asked by her psychologist to draw something really bad...
to make him a really crappy drawing.

She froze, starring at the blank piece of paper in front of her,
afraid that her drawing wouldn't be bad enough.
(need i tell you that she was a perfectionist?)

So if you want to create something,
but you're afraid it won't measure up...
give yourself permission to suck.
Give yourself permission to make it really bad.

But make it anyway.
You'll be happy you did.

Your heart will be happy too.
xox