heavy hearts make art

On the hearts and minds of many these days...

As disheartening as this is

we can't lose sight

of all the LIGHT

that finds its way through the darkness.

Good people doing good things -

opening their hearts & homes to strangers.

Picking up the pieces.

Refusing to live in fear.

I have no answers.

I only know that it makes me sad

that so many people suffer at the hands of hate.

Nos coeurs sont avec vous, Paris. xx

This was a 'decluttering/organizing' kind of week for me.

I changed a few things in my blue room,

including my table/desk.

(I used to have the yellow one)

Love the black desk (bought used years ago).

It's not as wide but it's longer, 

so I have more space for my brushes & paints.

This beautiful print (below) by Mae Chevrette

is on my wall to the right.

If you don't know her work,

you can check it out here.

It's so important

to surround ourselves with inspiration.

Whatever speaks to you.

Another little corner in the room...

Because my table is more narrow

and I moved things around a bit

I now have more space for the easel.

(still not done the veteran painting.) :(

This little guy always makes me smile.

We played marbles a lot when i was younger.

Dad's dirt driveway was filled with mini pot holes. ;)

There are too many book shelves in this small room...
said no book lover EVER! ;) 

my little winter bird...

all dressed up & ready to go.

I went to Chapters (book store) last week 

and got this fabulous book.

It was in the "young readers" section.

I find a lot of great illustrated books there.

I loved the illustrations 

so of course i had to buy it.

The story is about a young Russian girl in the 1990s
who lives with her grandparents for a year
while her mom is in the USA,
getting an education and 
trying to make a better life
for herself (and eventually, her daughter)

 The illustrations are simple and beautiful...

and the story carries you through
as if you were there with her,
on this journey without her mom.
It's the kind of book that you finish
and want to buy the sequel right away,
to know "what happens next"?
I highly recommend it.

And speaking of books...

COLOR FOR CLARITY is now available on Amazon!!

Grab your copy HERE.  

Six different artists from around the globe

came together to fill this 50 page colouring book

with beautiful images that encourage

a calm and peaceful heart.

Colouring is meditative
and all around great for your health,
so if you're one of these people
who can't sit still on a cushion for a 15 minute meditation...
this is for you!
Every page has a thought or a question
to help you focus on the moment
rather than worry about tomorrow
or next week, or next month.
They are selling for $11.66 US on Amazon.com
- a bit higher if you order from Canada,
but still much cheaper & healthier than valium! ;)
A great Christmas gift idea
for yourself or a friend!
Get your copy at: http://amzn.to/1MQ49eQ
and prepare to feel
like you went on a mini vacation!
Feel free to share! #colorforclarity

Thanks for being here.

PEACE to all of you

wherever you are on this big, blue ball.

xx

a dry spell and then *poof* - big magic.

Hello friends!

It seems like every time I sit to blog lately,

I have so much to say

and I fear forgetting half of it along the way. 

First of all, let me say

it's been a heavy week.

The little painting above

is the first painting I've done in weeks

and I'm not sure you can call it a painting.

Maybe a few lines on a page

would be more appropriate. :)

Dad had surgery last week

and there were a few minor issues after the surgery,

so consequent visits to the hospital.

He is now recuperating at home

and doing better every day,

but until he was back on his feet,

I felt a little unsettled myself.

A quick pen sketch of a sick man at the hospital...

So this past Monday, 

as my son and I rushed out the door

I misjudged the steps in the garage,

fell, and sprained my foot!

I spent a few days on crutches,

a day wobbling around,

and I'm now down to a limp. :)

During these down times

of making little (or no) art,

I tend to write more.

And of course, I read a lot.

I'm usually the one trailing behind

when it comes to reading the hot books

or seeing the hot movies.

I saw the Titanic movie about

a year after it was a hit.

I just recently watched Avatar.

But a few weeks ago,
I went to the bookstore and picked this up.
I was almost happy to be off my feet
for a few days,
just so I could curl up with this one.

I love so much of what she writes in here,
I basically wanted to underline the whole thing.
For anyone who is living a creative life,
this book is such a gift.
I love what she says here
about passion...

So many of us are bombarded
with messages of following our bliss...
of finding our passion
of doing what we love.
I'm all for doing what you love,
but sometimes, it just doesn't pay the bills
and you gotta do something shitty for a while
and on the side - do what you love!
On the side, write the novel.
On the side, play the guitar.
On the side, take acting classes.
It's those side things you do
that make life grand.
If you're lucky enough
to be able to make a living at what you love,
good for you!
But if you've yet to make a decent living at it,
DO IT ANYWAY.
Chances are good it makes you happy, right?
So already, it's worth it.
Whether or not my art (or writing)
provides a steady income for me
(and no, it doesn't)...
I'm still gonna do it because I love it.
I would still do it
if I knew I would never get a penny.
She talks about the differences
between passion and curiosity
and how we should ask ourselves this question:
What is interesting to me?

Don't you love that last paragraph?
AND THAT SHOULD BE MORE THAN ENOUGH
FOR ANYONE TO SAY
THAT THEY LIVED A RICH
AND SPLENDID LIFE.
I love it.
So reading this book during the past few days
got me fired up again
about all sorts of things.
One of those things was painting.

 Acrylic on paper.

When I first painted the black circles,
I was thinking of apples in a tree.
(it's apple harvesting time here)...

But they quickly became faces
without me having much time to think about it.

I took this picture this morning, by the window.
More accurate colours.
I like it. It makes me happy
although there's a kind of sadness to it too...

I also did some sketching

for the colouring book cover design!

This is such a fun project.

I'm as excited as everyone to see it printed. :)

It's such a joy to collaborate

with like minded people.

Not yet done, but getting there... 

Yes, this is still how excited I feel.

I stumbled upon this Canadian artist on-line this week...

Mandy Budan. 

What a lesson in patience.

Jaw dropping work.

I thought this smoke was pretty

after I put out the candle.

Maybe it'll become a painting soon?

And i finally - finally

finished this painting of mom.

I'm not totally happy with it

but I have to let it go.

I had given myself Aug 15th as a deadline

and here we are - 2 months later.

Maybe I just liked her hanging out here with me -

her reassuring smile cheering me on - as always.

She may stay here for a while still. :)

Happy weekend everyone!

xx

to be chosen, or not to be chosen...

hello everyone...

I've been writing more than making art these days.

Yup. 

Almost a year already since mom's been gone.

I'm still going through her things, slowly.

Found this little glass flower in a box.

June.

The month of my birth.

I'm guessing mom wanted to give this to me.

Most of the things i find

make me smile

but the occasional find

makes me sad

that she is no longer here.

Sad that she suffered.

Sad that she still wanted to do

so much.

Without wanting to offend anyone,

it makes me cringe

whenever i hear someone say

"prayer works".

It didn't work for mom.

It didn't work for my friend Liz

who died at 50,

leaving two young & sad boys behind.

It doesn't work

for many of you out there,

who are suffering, one way or another.

Who are living difficult lives.

It just makes me sad

when we say these things

because it implies that prayer works for some

and not for others

and so it must mean

that the others didn't pray enough,

or to the right god,

or that god picks & chooses who he listens to.

Either way,

it's all nonsense to me.

To believe this divides us more than unites us.

Life is a cycle.

Good things happen

and bad things happen

regardless of how much

or how little you pray.

The strength you need

when darker days fall upon you

comes from LOVE

more than prayer.

Anyone who has seen the stars in the sky,

the sunset and the sunrise,

understands how sacred life is

and how this is all the prayer

one really needs.

xox

Speed Stick and poetry for mom...

may came home with a smooth round stone

as small as a world and as large as alone.

- e.e. cummings 

Things have been a little cookoo here lately.

My husband works away and in the past week,

came home and left again

for another little while.

Several days ago, my son left for a trip to Mexico

- a dream vacation for any teenager -

and March came and went, it seems

with the blink of an eye.

I feel out of sorts when creative routines are disrupted

and yet...

i sometimes need the break,

away from the computer

away from the art room.

(did she really SAY that?!)

Yes. She did. ;-)

So i walked

and read

and worked

and listened to good music

and had coffee with friends

and pondered life...

i sketched a bit,

but nothing much

and a few days ago,

i found this gem of a book

at the used book store

It is a rather fine line
between genius and creativity sometimes...

I also wrote a bit.

It's been over four months
since the loss of my mother
and it sometimes feels
like it was just yesterday.

Here's what i wrote
after one of my morning walks...

i hate remembering

mom being so sick

as we drove home from her chemo treatments

she with the car seat pulled back

resting quietly,

eyes closed and

hand on her heart...

i love that i was there with her

holding her hand

in the end

i hate how her diagnosis

led her to self doubt

and questions

and blame for what she

should have done

and didn't do.

i love that we got to spend

two extra years together

after she had been told

she only had a few months to live.

i hate that cancer robbed her

of her body

of her hair

of her strength

of her energy

of her appetite.

i love that it never robbed her

of her will to live

nor did it ever take away

the sparkle in her eyes.

i hate that her life was cut short

when she still had

so much life left in her.

i love that i had her for this long

when so many people out there

lose their mothers when they are children.

i hate that her leaving

forced my father to fend for himself

to make his meals

to clean the house

to be alone

to mourn the loss

and that it left an emptiness

in the house and in our hearts

that can never be filled again.

i love that i had her for a mother

and that the lessons she taught me

are now being passed on

to my own son

with deep love

and a tinge of sadness…

mom with Fluffy...

xox

How one book can change the world...

hello everyone.

This is Harriet Beecher Stowe. 

She's an american author who is most well known
for her book, "Uncle Tom's Cabin", 
a book about slavery and the desire for change.

A great book, although it was at times hard to read.
Too much suffering.

So many books to read...
so many things to learn.

I think women like this were so brave...

at a time where it was certainly uncool
to speak out against slavery (in the 1800's)
and where it was definitely uncool
to speak out at all, if you were a woman.

...and yet, she wrote.

It is said that when she met Abraham Lincoln,
he referred to her as
"the little woman who made this great war"
(the American civil war)

She may not be responsible for having started the war,
but one thing is certain:
she got people thinking
about why certain things were still accepted.

Why some things were still left unquestioned.

Thought is the seed that breeds action and change.

A quick tint in photoshop, and it feels more like the 1800's... :-)

And this was taken yesterday... 

today is a different picture. Another snow storm.

Another day of from school for the kids.

Another day inside for me,

drinking coffee and staying out of trouble. (giggle)

thank you all for your kind comments and emails

re: yesterday's post.

I knew most of you were kind souls

and truth seekers.

xox