The WILD TRUTH about Into the Wild

hi folks...

It's Friday night here, 

and the wind is howling outside.

Halloween tomorrow.

The little witches & goblins are gonna be out

trickin' & treatin'.

I may watch a movie later on

but first, I have a few things to share.

It seems like I'm doing nothing

but trying to catch up these days.

Well, that, and watching movies. ;)

There are so many emails I want to send,

thank you cards (or just cards to say 'hello'),

blogs & books to read,

paintings to make,

friends to visit,

things to write...

And here's the thing:

I am currently not working outside the home!

I should have all the time in the world

to get everything done!

But do I?

No.

I never seem to have enough hours in the day

to do everything I wanna do.

Maybe my list is too long?

Or I'm too easily distracted?

oh ok, fuck it,

I already know the answer.

I procrastinate. :)

I'll write those emails,

as soon as I go for a walk outside.

I'll send those cards,

right after I do a little painting.

I get everything done eventually,

it's just that sometimes,

'eventually' takes a long time to get here. ;)

And of course, 
there's always that other "fun stuff"
like housework
and groceries
and changing lightbulbs
and making meals.
The other day, a friend of mine told me
that I made her feel lazy
because I got so much done in the course of a day.
You're fucking kidding, right?
No, she wasn't kidding.
So maybe I really am productive
and I just FEEL like a procrastinator? ;)
Maybe i have razor sharp focus
but it just FEELS like a total mess in my own head? 
giggle....
As my son would say:
Whatevs.
(translation: WHATEVER - because the word "whatever"
just takes far too much energy for teenagers to say) ;)
I'm doing my best
and as long as I don't kill anyone
in the course of a day - it's all good.

I go for walks whenever I can
because nature is my sanctuary.
I spend as many quiet moments in a day
as I can, because silence is golden for me.
I'm not one of these people
who needs to turn on the radio or tv
as soon as I get up in the morning.
I listen to music when I'm painting
but too much noise just makes me
wanna run the other way.

And speaking of noise & nature,
I wanted to say a few things
about the movie Into the Wild.
For those who don't know the movie,
it's the true story of Christopher McCandless
who decides, after graduating from university
with top honours, to give away all his money to charity,
and set out for Alaska, to live off the land.
Oh, and did I mention
that his parents were wealthy assholes?
Yeah, his father was a scientist for NASA
who was used to manipulating people
with his money,
and his mother was basically a puppet on a string.
They were devoted to their church,
while at the same time,
abusive to their children (physically and mentally).

It's a movie about
freedom and adventure
and a young man who decides to
escape the clutches of his controlling parents
and live life on his terms.
That's where the heaviness comes in.
It's also profoundly sad.
I wish I could say he lived happily ever after,
but...
I'm sure you all know the outcome.
If you don't, Google it.
I came out of that theatre
feeling like I had been hit by a truck.
I had a heavy heart for weeks.
But still - one of my favorite movies.
The music, the scenery, the meaning...

Then in 2014, Christopher's sister, Carine McCandless
wrote a book called THE WILD TRUTH.
It explained everything.
I am happy she wrote this,
for herself, her siblings, and for Chris.
After reading her book,
I understood his reasons for leaving
and for breaking the family ties completely.

Appearances can be deceiving.
What you see in public
is not always the truth
which is why we should never judge others
who do things that may seem irrational to us.
We never really know
what someone is living behind closed doors.

And on that note,

I'll leave you with this adorable little face...

Fluffy (dad's dog)

making a tongue at us.

:)

Happy Halloween everyone!
Remember: chocolate is good for you!
xx

pastels and Relay for Life

hello friends!

Not much art to show this week...

I'm in the crest of the wave

rather than on the wave itself lately.

But that's ok.

I'm still on the ocean.

:-)

I've had these dry pastels for about 20 years. 

Truth.

I've used them once or twice,

and didn't like the feel so much

so i just left them there.

But time changes things, doesn't it?

Like dreams we had years ago

that are no longer the same dreams,

or partners we chose

that no longer meet our needs

or the car we loved

that we no longer care for... ;-)

All of a sudden, when i found the box the other night,

they called to me again. ;-)

So this is what i attempted, on paper.

The face looks far too male -

or maybe it's the lack of hair...

but she's a cancer survivor,

so i wanted little hair.

i loved the pastels this time.

Love the feeling of rubbing my fingers in the chalk dust

and the rough look of dry pastels.

...yes, that's a halo. :-)

Anyone going through chemotherapy,

I've decided -

deserves a halo.

Don't you love the roughness?

It's funny how much we change

in terms of what we want to paint or draw as artists.

Years ago, i loved precision.

i loved making art that looked as much

like a photograph as possible.

Now - not so much.

There's nothing wrong with painting realistically.

It's just not where my heart is at this time.

Then i had this little piece of scrap watercolor paper

and did this little bunch of funky leaves.

The paper is only about 3" x 7"

but you don't need huge amounts of paper

to make a little bit of art, right?

i love making the little spirals...

meditative.

On another note, this past Friday night

my family and i went to the Relay for Life, in our home town.

The Relay is a yearly fundraising event

that focuses on cancer survivors

and those who have lost the battle.

I was never comfortable with calling it a "battle"...

it sounds like a fight within oneself,

and i'm not sure that's really what it is.

Anything we see as a battle

is already lost from the beginning.

The beauty and transformation comes,

i believe - in acceptance.

In surrender.

These are my lovely parents... from behind. :-)

Cancer survivors (in the yellow and white tshirts)

walk around the track and teams of people

who participated in the fundraising

walk for 24 hours...

from 7pm till 7am

in support of finding a cure for cancer.

Each little white bag you see on each side of the track

has a little tealight candle in it

and the name of a person chosen by those

who donated to the cause.

They are usually names

of lost loved ones.

At dusk, they light all the candles around the track

and they stay lit for the duration 

of the 24 hour walk...

it's beautiful.

One word describes what the Relay for Life is all about:

love.

wishing you all a wonderful week ahead

filled with good moments.

xoxo

surprise purple bird

hi peoples!

A few years ago,

i came across something on the net called black out poetry.

It's basically using text in newspapers,

or magazines or books,

and hiding (or blacking out) the words you don't need

for the creation of your own masterpiece poem. :-)

You can see a sample here...

I began this journal page last night

thinking about black out poems...

only my poem ended up being loose words

just scattered across the page

willy-nilly. 

:-)

And the text i chose happened to be

from a boring article about finances.

Yawn.

Still - i managed to find a few choice words in there.

The purple bird just kinda happened

when i began to contour a few leaves

and saw the shape of a bird.

Well, ok, i kinda made it into the shape of a bird. 

:-)

This is a photo i took this morning, in natural light.

What a difference it makes, huh?

These colors are much closer to reality,

although the leaves are a punchier lime green.

And speaking of green...

let's talk money for a minute.

I read a lot,

although i've never been interested in books like these.

But this morning at the book store,

this one caught my eye

and practically jumped off the shelf and into my hands.

Published in 1937 - before it was even cool to be rich. :-)

I was raised to believe

that money is the root of all evil,

that money can't buy happiness

that those who seek wealth are selfish,

that real wealth is found

in a kind heart

rather than a full bank account.

I suspect i was raised this way

because we had no money.

:-)

I believe the greatest thing about having money

is being able to share it.

Being able to use it somehow

to inspire others

to reach their potential...

to realize their own dreams.

And one by one,

make the world a better place.

Maybe I'm naive to think this way -

but i know that in the end, i'd feel better about my life

knowing that I had lived it with an open heart,

rather than hoarding everything to myself.

Hoarding anything is unhealthy.

Especially art.

xoxo