how art and Leonard Cohen heal my heart

hello everyone...

I am not a big fan of social media
and neither is this little bird,
even with the tweets. ;-)

This past Sunday was a difficult day,
but when evening came,
along with it came relief
that day would soon turn to night
and night into a new morning.

During the early evening,
I found my way to the blue room,
and played with paints and paper for a while.
(a great remedy for a sad heart)

If i was a doctor,
this is what i would prescribe to patients.
Solitary time
in a room with a view,
pens, paper,
and a box of Crayolas.
Maybe some music.
And some wine. ;-)

I was all over the place
with sketching and collaging and painting.

Like i had a thousand images in my head that wanted out...

Then i opened a book i had nearby
and landed on this page
and it was fucking poetic.
Don't you love it
when something comes together?
When you read something
or see something
or hear something
at what feels like exactly the right time?

Then i read this one...

What do i do?

i paint.

i write.

i listen to Leonard Cohen.

i count my blessings.

i see miracles in the every day.

Not in heaven,

but here.

In the every day.

i light a candle.

i pay attention to my breathing.

i walk along the ocean.
i read.
i remember.

i look at the moon & stars

and consider how minuscule i am

and how vast the universe is

and yet...

and yet.

xox

(what do YOU do?)

why the holidays always make me go 'hhhhmmmm'

when i have a terrible need of - shall i say the word - religion, then i go out and paint the stars. 

- Vincent Van Gogh

i love the Van Gogh quote...

hello friends!

Christmas has come and gone for another year.

It was certainly different without mom,

but we made the best of it.

We had our traditional feast of Acadian poutines

and meat pies and seafood casserole and of course,

family and friends.

Oh, and there was wine... ;-)

i'm finally slowly making my way

back to the paints and crayons and colours.

I've missed it.

(coloured crayons on paper)

I did this one quickly last night,
just wanting to get back to doing at least something.

They're hanging on for dear life till the holidays are over. ;-)

i love the quote...

how many of us really dare to be ourselves, i wonder?
how many of us go through life wearing a mask,
pretending to be one thing or another?

how many of us are afraid to show our true colours,
for fear of not being accepted, or loved?

Children are usually wonderful at showing their true colours,
until the adults get in the way
and teach them what to think
rather than how to think.

I hope i am teaching my son how to think for himself...
how to decide whether or not he likes something,
based on how it makes him feel.

A paper clip painting... acrylic on paper.
Proof that you don't need an amazing subject
to paint something. :-)

And a few days ago, 

I saw this movie with a friend.

Loved it. Would see it again.

I hope you all had the kind of holiday you love -

whether that means non stop partying for you,

or a peaceful time at home with a good book or a few friends.

There's something about getting back into an artful routine

that feels wonderfully comforting to me...

Thanks for sharing this space with me.

I'll be back soon. Hope you join me again.

xox

when the whispers call... listen.

hi everyone.

I've missed you all. 

Despite difficult days - the sun still rises. 

And what a beauty it is... wouldn't you agree?

No adjustments made to the photo...

it was actually this yellow.

First of all, thank you.

From the deepest of my heart - thank you all,

for showing me

that you are there.

That you understand.

Mom comes out of the hospital today.

:-)

We never know for how long,

but none of us really know

whether we'll be here tomorrow or not, do we?

The more reason to take everything in while we can,

to taste everything

to touch everything

to see everything

to be grateful for what we have,

for who we have

for who we are...

and for sunrises and sunsets. 

When i went to the mail today,

i found this in my box

and it made me smile...

A wonderful gift of speciality papers...(chinese papers?)

from the lovely Angelia 

all in a beautiful hand painted envelope.

How precious is that?

I can't wait to use them in my journal
THANK YOU Angelia... xox

During the past few weeks,
I spent very little time in my studio.

My heart just wasn't in it.

And then a few days ago,
I began to feel that stirring inside...

the one that calls for me to make art,
to write,
to create something.

The one that gets more persistent
as every day passes...

The one that reminds me,
that despite what happens around me,
there is still something inside me
that that needs to be given
a voice
a color
a form...

and within 30 minutes - a new beginning...

only after i had it all on canvas did i notice
the hearts...

At least i see two hearts.

It's only the beginning and i'll keep you posted
as it progresses.

It was good to have the brushes in my hand again. :-)

Kurt is watching on the sidelines. ;-)

I'll leave you with a video from someone that i love,

Loreena McKennitt - one of my favorite Canadians. :-)

The words in this song hold a particular meaning.

Back in 1998, she tragically lost her fiancé, his brother,

and their best friend in a boating accident.

She said she would never perform or record again after this.

But I'm guessing she felt the same stirring inside,

calling her to make music,

to give her feelings a voice,

to create something...

I'm so grateful that she listened to the whispers...

Wishing you all a happy, healthy weekend.

xox

danger: too much positiveness can cause blindness...

It's not what you look at that matters,

it's what you see. 

Henry David Thoreau

hello people!

A quick little watercolor from this morning.
Sometimes i feel like being precise, sometimes not.

Can you guess what this morning was?! 
hint: NOT. 
;-)

It's a rainy day here today.

I love the rain.

It may seem like this little watercolor was inspired by the rain, but it wasn't.

It was inspired by this:
I've discovered lately that i can only take so much positiveness.

Especially the fake, overdone, super fantabulous, shiny sparkly kind.
The kind that makes you feel yucky.
I'm sure you all know what i mean.

I believe it's important to see the whole of life,
not just the good parts.
I also believe life is unfair and that sometimes,
what's possible for one person is absolutely impossible for another.

Denying this reality is denying what life really is.

I've read too many blog posts lately from people
who are living the good life,
raking in the cash, living on some tropical island somewhere,
illness free, debt free, barefoot in the sand,
trying to inspire me to do the same.

Well duh... happiness in such conditions
is not a huge surprise!

For most of us, this is not reality,

and i believe it can be as harmful as helpful if we get too wrapped up 

in someone else's story... someone else's fairy tale.

Anyone can be positive when everything is rainbows and sparkles.
The real character of a person is seen
when the world around them crumbles.
When they lose their house,
or their child,
or their health...

That's when you see the real character of a person.

Most of us have mortgages,
and debt,
and illness,
and dependant children,
and daily challenges that would render many dysfunctional.

What impresses me is the young mother
who is in her 3rd round of chemotherapy
and still faces the day with a smile on her face and courage in her heart.

What impresses me is the man who has lost the love of his life
and is on the verge of losing his house
and still finds it in his heart to volunteer and help others in need.

I hesitate to take the advice of many of these so called

spiritual/financial/life coach gurus...

Real spiritually is free.

I am weary of those who charge a fee for enlightenment -

of those who claim that they will show you the way,

and it'll only cost you five thousand dollars for a 3 day retreat.

I am weary of those who tell others

that anyone can manifest anything at anytime in their lives.

I have a friend who is a quadriplegic.

If he could manifest anything

don't you think he'd be walking?

And if he believed in this crap,

how would he feel about the fact that he is not walking?

I'll tell you how he would feel.

He would feel like a failure.

He would feel like he is doing something wrong...

he is manifesting the wrong thing.

He is not concentrating hard enough,

or trusting or praying hard enough.

We should be careful about what we tell others

they can DO in their lives.

I was skeptical when the book THE SECRET was published.

I realize it may have helped a lot of people,

but my first thought at seeing the book was:

Sugar and spice (and bullshit) in a fancy package.

I want to cry every time i see a televangelist in his shiny suit

and puppy dog eyes,

raking in millions from people who barely have enough to eat.

And yet - these people choose to send in their money...

believing it'll somehow give them a ticket to heaven.

So my little watercolor here is really about being bombarded with 
too much positiveness
and only needing a little bit for myself.

The one little heart is really all i need.

I don't need to be loved by everyone, 
nor do i need (or want) to love everyone.

Some people are assholes.
I don't love those. 
;-)

I believe we all do what we can to make our lives better

or easier

or more meaningful

or healthier

or happier...

i just think we all have our own ways of doing this,

and what works for one may not work for the other.

Find you OWN way to make your life meaningful.

You know what your life needs.

Don't let others tell you what you need to "do" to be ok.

Be the boss of you. :-)

You'll be glad you did.

xox

hi everyone!

It's Friday - my favorite day of the week.

Some of you already know

I haven't had the most inspirational week.

Regardless of how much i love doing this

or how grateful i am for being part

of such a supportive, creative community,

I still have moments of doubt

where i question what i do

and why I bother doing it.

Sometimes I question

whether i blog too often, or not enough,

or whether i should just stop altogether.

But then, I'd miss you all too much.

Of course i could visit your blogs without having one myself

but that just wouldn't feel like sharing to me.

Have i failed to mention that i can be anal sometimes? ;-)

So for me, it boils down to this:

I make art because it makes me happy,

and because i love the connection it creates with others.

And in this life,

when you find something that makes you happy,

you do it as often as you can. 

So here we go...

from my quick little pen sketch

to the fun part of the process... spreading paint!

purple and a blob of lime green...

shaping the hair...

more shapes and filling in with more color...

I don't know what was happening with my brushes -

I figure they're starting to crack up

from the long winter too...

:-)

The girl with the hearts in her hair.

closeup of the little white hearts and dots.

I love dots. Just in case you didn't already know that. :-)

The soul sisters - done.

With dots. 

:-)

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend,

and check out all the other lovelies

on Paint Party Friday!

xoxo