My ideas usually come not at my desk writing

but in the midst of living.

- Anais Nin

A few sample pages from my book.
Writing and art - my two loves.

My true stories -

and stories of people

who have crossed my path

and touched me one way or another.

i'm still struggling with putting it all together,
with adding pages,
still tweaking the text,
still deciding how to treat the whole thing -
whether i should even combine the words with art
or have the words alone.

It's never the writing that paralyzes me,
nor the artwork,
nor the book layout...
It's
the
AFTER
part.

Putting it together is a lot of work
but it's something i love doing.

The after part
still scares me half to death.

blood red...

hi everyone...

last night's playtime...

acrylic on paper...

before i added the black, i flipped over the paper...

just because. :-)

(notice the blue markings on the top right corner above...)

they are now at the bottom left here...(above)

 added a bit of white, and some circles here & there...

at this point, i saw a man, with a bow,
surrounded by animals and spirits.
Some of you may see a person with a surfboard,
or a woman holding leaves...
but i saw a man with a bow.

The hunter.
That's what i decided it would be called.
Just because. ;-)

I don't particularly like the color red

and i use it very rarely.

Some artists use it brilliantly,

but i'm not one of them.

I still find it so aggressive.

Some artists use red in a way

that feels more passionate than angry.

But I still struggle to find that balance

between red and other colors,

so it doesn't feel like the red

is taking over the whole damn room,

let alone the painting. :-)

Yesterday, I was angry about a few things,

so it felt right when i used it -

maybe the anger is slowly finding its way

out of my heart and onto the page.

notice the limited color red in these pieces?
Maybe it means i'm not often angry.
Or that i lack passion in my life. ;-)

oh, i added a few curls to the blue boy painting!

I also made his eyes more intense.

I like it now. Much more.

Blue Boy.

And a little video for you, my friends...

How can one not love such a setting

filled with so many instruments,

talented musicians

and an angelic voice,

all at the same time?!

I saw Loreena in concert a few years ago.

Best concert EVER.

Maybe because there was more blue on the stage than red.

(giggle)...

the good, the bad, and the ugly dust bunnies...

hello everyone...

Hope your weekend was good.

I've had better - but that's life,

isn't it?

The good, the bad, and the ugly. ;-)

i wanna share this with all of you,

to remind us ALL that we need to look deeper sometimes

than just what we see on the surface.

Recently, a local man who is married with children

and respected by the community

did something a little funky.

He stopped paying his bills, including his mortgage.

While he was doing this,

he was posting on facebook

about how to be successful

and how to market yourself as a leader.

He usually dressed in a suit.

He was creating his self image

as an intelligent leader,

when he was anything but.

Long story short, they almost lost the house

and he and his wife are separating.

While i don't know the whole story,

i know enough to know 

that he was living two lives

for whatever reason.

He obviously wanted something different

than what he was living,

or he was projecting something different

than who he really was.

It got me thinking about how many more out there

are projecting something

or someone, they are not?

Healers who claim to have the "gift" to heal others
when their own lives
are in shambles -
when their own hearts
need tending
before they can help anyone else.

A woman who projects the image of being a good mother

drowns her own children in a bathtub

and the neighbours almost always say

"she seemed very nice…always smiling & playing with the kids."

There is a catholic priest in a nearby community

who has several allegations against him of sexual abuse.

When the story came out in the local paper,

several more men came forward to admit that 

they had also been abused by this priest when they were young.

This same priest walks into a local business a few weeks ago

head held high,

proud as a peacock.

Invincible.

No guilt.

No shame.

His victims carry more shame than he does.

They shouldn't - but they do.

It got me thinking about how many people are out there,

projecting an image that is very different

from who they really are.

I am always very skeptical whenever i see someone

that looks (or sounds) too sparkly.

Too perfect.

Perfection = distrust (for me).

I want the messed up hair once in a while.

i want the untied shoe,

the bad day,

the dirty car,

the dirty dishes,

and the dust bunnies on the floor.

Lately, i've been seeing a lot of perfection on-line.

e-courses, workshops, seminars, e-books…

put on by people who seem to have perfect lives,

and who look like they could be

on the cover of GLAMOUR magazine.

But is this what success really is?

Does this mean they've made it, and we haven't?

Does LOOKING good actually mean BEING good?

Let's not forget that sometimes,

a pretty package is just that -

a pretty package.

And sometimes,

what people project to society

is far from who they really are

on the inside.

wishing you all a great week

filled with imperfection

and sincerity.

xox

mystery boy, gifts in the mail and spirited away...

Good morning friends...

Happy Friday. :-)

Last night's quick painting...

This ended up looking nothing like 

what i had in my head when i started it.

When i first began, i was thinking i would paint an older man.

As i painted, it looked more and more like a boy.

At first, i also thought i'd paint in black & white only.

But then i got the urge to add burnt orange

to the background.

And then to his eyes.

a boy with huge eyes...

who doesn't wanna miss

what's coming his way. ;-)

This just came out looking very different
than what I first thought it would.

It was done rather quickly - but still. 
At least it was done. :-)

and this week, lots of goodies in the mail!

The HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON book

because i am a highly sensitive person

and sometimes find it hard not to carry

the weight of the world on my shoulders.

And the other book because sometimes,

i feel like the queen of procrastination.

i get things done, but when the time is right (usually always),

i can procrastinate with more style than anyone out there. ;-)

So THE WAR OF ART was written for me.

And when i opened the first few pages and read this:

"The following is a list, in no particular order, of those activities that most commonly elicit Resistance:

1) The pursuit of any calling in writing, painting, music, film, dance, or any creative art, however marginal or unconventional"...

i knew i hit the jackpot.

so now i'm procrastinating by reading about procrastination...

;-)

and this lovely little package i ordered on ETSY,
from Retro Whale.
i love the simple illustrations, and the concept of a good kind of crazy.

Some people spend $10 on nail polish,
or a grand double mochaccino cappuccino frappe latté with sprinkles and a cinnamon stick... ;-)  
i'd rather buy an illustration. 

and this... from the wonderfully creative Nigel,
who knows how much i love texture in art.
(thank you Nigel!)

check out the back of this journal...

how much fun is that?!

and these fun pages on the inside...
Can you hear them calling?
"fill me up! fill me up! i'm naked here!!" ;-)

And this little gem...
Spirited Away.
a movie i watched with my son several years ago.
The animation is spectacular, as is the story.
i will never be too old for animation.

Have a great weekend everyone!
Be kind to one another
and make art.
xox

someone loves me and lhasa de sela

the little bit of painting that happened today...

acrylic on paper...

i was gonna call it
Someone loves me on a windy day.
:-)

...and a beautiful song by Lhasa de Sela,

who left this world far too soon.

Wishing you all a peaceful easy Sunday night.

xox

is money really all that and a bag of chips?

hi everyone!

Happy Saturday... (at least it's Saturday as i write this)

i am slowly getting back into my routine
of playing & writing & making art during the evenings.
i love these evenings...

After mentioning on my last post
that i was done my 4 month term job,
one of the comments i got was from the very wise & talented Gwen...
(you can find her here)

She wrote this:
you do what you need to do,
to do what you want to do.
Such truth to this.

Few of us are lucky enough to do what we love as our work.

Many of us (i want to say most) are stuck in jobs we hate,

selling at least 8 hours of our day to someone else, 

to another business,

another corporation,

for money.

And some of us need more money than others...

In the past few years,
i've discovered that i can do a lot with very little
and that some people are higher maintenance
than others.

I've also discovered
that we're not all given the same chance in life
and when circumstances steer your life in a different direction
than what you thought your life would be -
it's not all sparkles & rainbows.
But it's not all bad either.
It is your new life.

And when directions change...
Opportunities change.
Priorities change.
People change.
Sometimes, in ways that make them feel more grounded.

Those who know me know

that my definition of success

is not a full bank account,

but a full heart.

And i don't get a full heart

by watching my money grow,

or by shopping,

or by driving a new car.

Someone else might - i don't.

I get a full heart

by connecting with others (like you!)

by listening to music

by sharing coffee & conversation with friends

by being in nature

by asking questions

by making art

by reading

by writing...

by doing what i need to do,

to do what i want to do.

(thank you Gwen)...

Bob Dylan once said:

What's money?

A man is a success if he gets up in the morning

and goes to bed at night

and in between,

does what he wants to do.

I try to live up to this,

and follow my own heart as much as i can.

...and whenever i can, i have fun.
How can striped orange socks 
and cowboy boots with spurs NOT be fun?! :-)

When i drew this,
i realized she (or he, or it!) seemed awfully uncomfortable
balancing on her hands with her bum in the air on the beach.
So i gave her a little stool.
And her boots have to be on the blanket,
cause you don't wanna get sand in the spurs...
(giggle)

See what happens when i sit on a Saturday morning,
with nothing but good coffee,
and time on my hands?
(does she ever shut up?)

Thanks for sticking with me, folks.
...for those of you who are still reading.

Have a great weekend!
xox

slowly winding down... or up.

hi everyone!

Last week, my 9 to 5, four month term position ended.

And now my friends, the fun begins. :-)

AS grateful as i am for the experience (and the money),

i am more grateful to get time to myself again,

time to make art and to write again.

I plan on using this time wisely.

Over the weekend, i started this portrait.

The niece of a friend...

Nowhere near done, but a beginning, at least.
i love new beginnings...

 I'll share more pics as the painting progresses...

i'm still trying to loosen up whenever i do portraits.

It's the hardest thing for me...

i'd love to do portraits like this, by Melinda Cootsona:

or like this, by the incredible Karin Jurick...

or this...

but alas... there is no sense in comparing myself
to others.

a nice, clean workspace...

And a quote to remind me
that's is ok when it gets messy again.
:-)

Wishing you all a great day.
Thanks for stopping by...
xox