Sunday, March 12, 2017

sharing - even when life gets in the way

hello Munchkins!
I'm back after being away
for more than a month!
I may be back at a slower pace,
but it feels good to get back into
something that feels familiar. 
The past month+ has been a bit crazy.
Dad moved to an assisted living home,
which means we spent the past month+
sorting through things at his apartment,
cleaning & clearing out the apartment,
selling stuff,
moving things to his new place,
bringing boxes of stuff to our place,
and adopting his little dog Fluffy. :)

It broke his heart to leave her,
but because we live only 2 minutes 
from his new home,
he gets to see her practically every day.

The perils of Parkinson's disease.
After a few falls and hospital visits,
he was finding it more & more difficult to live alone
and he must have been ready for the big move
because everyone (including Fluffy!)
is adjusting so well.

I've had very little time for art
over the past month or so,
and the bit of time available to me
was of no use, because I was not in the mood.

It's strange isn't it?

I do yoga less often
when I seem to need it the most.
I make art less often
when I need it the most.

My thinking was this:

I feel totally stressed out right now
and I know painting would help
but I feel too stressed (or tired) to paint.
(sound familiar?)
So slowly...

v e r y  s l o w l y...

I sketched a few things on those nights
where I felt a little less tired or stressed.
And when dad was finally moved
and the world didn't come crashing down,
and he was eating well and sleeping well
and meeting new people
and I knew he would be ok...
I started to find more time
for the things that make me happy.

Painting.

Writing.

Sketching.

Walks outside (even if it's bitter cold!)
Just when I felt like I needed to get back
to a somewhat regular art practice again
I found a "body part" art challenge
by Connie Solera (Dirty Footprints)
that helped get me back on track.

I would have painted on my own eventually,
but sometimes,
just having something to paint
without needing to think too much about anything
is exactly what we need.
Sometimes, we know what we need,
but life gets in the way
and it becomes more difficult
to do those things.

There's a time for everything
and when the dust settles
and life begins to feel normal again,
we eventually find our own way home.
This whole Trump fiasco is 
weighing heavy on my heart, still,
as it is with so many others around the globe.

But I remind myself
that there is more love than hatred in this world
(even if some would have us believe otherwise)
and that the important thing is
for all of us to
keep telling our stories
and sharing our voices.
Especially women.

So I'm slowly getting back to feeling like myself.
A new & improved,
sometimes lost,
sometimes found,
sometimes awakened, angry self,
...but MYSELF.

A few of the good books I'm reading.
One can never read too many books. :)

Thanks for hanging out here.
xox



4 comments:

  1. Lovely post and art, your dad's lucky to have you there for him too.

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  2. So glad you finally got your dad settled, what a feat that must have been!! Love that you took Fluffy, she looks so cozy! Glad shes loved and that they get to see each other often! Your character lost in the garden of love is wonderful and so telling! Glad you found some creative mojo again!

    Hugs Giggles

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  3. Hugs to you Pauline. Gad to hear your father is settling well in his new environment. Fluffy looks at home and so adorable in that picture.
    You are so right..."there is more love than hatred in this world." And this love needs to be shared more.
    Your posts are like mirrors-- they reflect so many of my thoughts and feelings.
    So keep writing and painting and go sit on that yoga mat...even if you are exhausted, just sit on it and breathe in and breathe out:) Trust me, the mat will embrace you like an old friend...It happens to me when I've been away from my practice for a bit.
    Sending you lots of love and warmth from sunny Doha:) xx

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  4. Thank you for your words Pauline.

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