when something feels so right

Don't play what's there; play what's not there.

- Miles Davis

ok, so here's the story...
In early January, I accepted a temporary office job outside the home,
and in a few weeks (early May), my contract ends.
In all honestly, I suffocate in such a structured, left brained,
grey cubicle environment -
and as much as I was grateful for the opportunity last January,
I will be as grateful (or more) to be done in May.

Some of you may be wondering why i applied for an office job.
two reasons:
1) I wanted out of the house and needed to a bit of socializing.
After working 10+ years alone at home, it was time for change; and
2) money.

Both of those needs were met,
and now it's time to come back to the core of who i really am.
Time to move on to something else.
Something creative again.
Something closer to my heart.
Grey cubicles and number crunching and data entry
are not near and dear to my heart.
(no offense to those who do it, but it makes me wanna slit my wrists) ;-)

I have never been one to stay at a job out of fear of doing without.
I have never become a slave to money.
I have quit jobs,
I have been fired,
i have made changes in my life that were difficult to make,
I have started anew when I least expected it,
I have gone where no man has gone before... 
(giggle - i just HAD to add that one in there!)

All of this to say that I now take pride in the fact
that I don't fit in an office job in a corporate world.
I want to shout it out from the rooftop...
I used to think something was wrong with me,
now i realize ...
something is RIGHT with me! :-)

I know what i want and what i don't want.
i know what i am willing to sacrifice
and what i am not willing to trade off.
I know which battles are worth fighting,
and which ones just need to be cast away with the wind...

So i am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel
and the relief is palpable.
Soon, the job ends, and I will have my freedom again.
Time to write,
time to finish those projects i've had "on the go" for months now.
Time to read.
Time to catch up with blogs.
Time for more art!
Ahhhhhh... just writing this brings me relief.

Sketchbook Skool is fabulous, just as i expected it would be.
It breaks my heart whenever i see comments from people
about how they are "not good" or "not as good as"...
I remember that feeling.
I remember feeling "less good than" when i was younger,
or when i began a new medium or technique.
Comparing ourselves to others is a natural thing to do
but it is SO destructive to our own creative path,
because there will always be someone better than you.
Better than me.
Richer than me.
Taller than me.
Smarter than me...
We must focus on our own paths
and just keep sketching/painting/singing/writing...
Those who are good did not become good overnight.
There are countless hours of work involved.
Your work won't get done
if it is stifled before it even hits the page.

Do this for yourself.
Just keep making art 
with as little comparison to others as possible.
Be kind to yourself and your art.
Eventually, you'll be surprised. You'll see.

I love this, from Austin Kleon's latest book, "Show your work".
So true.
So much of what i've done in the past (and still do!) is crap.
But that little piece that isn't crap...
that one little painting or piece of writing
that feels absolutely perfect -
Aaaaahhhh... now THAT'S why we make art.
The satisfaction in that one little slice of NOT CRAP pie
is so worth the disappointment in all the other stuff.

happy easter everyone!
Here's a little video of the BE GOOD TANYAS
Happy trails! :-)