Monday, March 17, 2014

how did something so smooth become so tight?

hello folks!
I've calmed down a bit since my last post,
now that i've backed up my work & photos... :-)
more time for painting
i started this out with the intention of staying loose...
using colors i don't normally use,
using my fingers rather than brushes,
trying to let myself go a bit...

making markings and wanting to keep things free...

and then this started to happen...
 and then before i knew it - this.
All of a sudden, i was thinking
what the hell?!?
When did THIS happen?
In my effort to stay loose
and NOT control things...
i end up with a very controlled & tight looking painting.
it all feels so aggressive somehow.
i am not afraid to admit that i like some of my paintings
but this isn't one of them.
i liked it more at stage 4 or 5,
when it was loose and without much detail.
Maybe the painting is teaching me something
about life...
and how sometimes,
things don't work out the way we plan
or the way we think they will.

this is a note my mother wrote in her calendar
only a month or so before she died.
We are of Acadian descent,
so we often jumble both french & english
in the same sentence,
and we even have our own dialect
which i'll share with you in a post soon...
Mom's note here translates as:
Chemo - last one - line dancing after.
And she did go line dancing after her last chemotherapy session.
That was mom in a nutshell.
Always making the most of life,
always making time for friends & family,
being a participant in life rather than a spectator,
especially after she knew her days were numbered...
I miss her...
funny, i miss her most 
when i see nature at its best,
like this clean snow drift on our back porch...
because i know how much she appreciated
the same beauty.

On another note,
Happy St-Patrick's day to all!
And in honour of the day,
and of mom's vibrant spirit...
check out the video
and dance if you feel like it. :-)


  1. What a sweet post...makes me sad, in a good way! Thanks for sharing about your mom. As far as your crack me up! I LOVE it tight. I tend to like illustrative work. I really like tight and controlled work. BUT I know you were trying for loose so that can be frustrating.

  2. Well we have different tastes because I love it! If I saw a set of cards like that in a store I would gravitate to it! Those colors too!! Makes me so happy!

    Love hearing little memories of your keeps her spirit alive. Seems you both found joy in small things as I do! Love the snow photos...always will...Natures it's highest!

    You carry your moms beautiful spirit in your words! A wonderful legacy you are! Thanks for sharing!

    Hugs Giggles

  3. Well, regardless of your disappointment, each step is beautiful because of the movement of the lines and the cheerful colours. Tres bien! I am not Acadian, but I can through a little French in!

    Your mom is smiling down upon you! What a wonderful attitude she had. The calendar is a wonderful reminder of that!

    I never know where my art will take me. I have one vision, but my brain and heart don't always listen to each other. Sometimes I know what I want, but lack of knowledge on how to use the paint, guides me in unknown directions.

    I know how you are feeling! Thanks for sharing!

  4. Hello,

    I'm french and I love your painting. I lost my brother there is two years and I know the lack of the deceased. I understand you. I'm with you.

  5. I have this EXACT issue with tightness and looseness. It happened to me today even. I have to stay really conscious to not go so far that it happens, to keep reining myself in, which is kind of ironic and back to front, but I can't think of another way to put it right now!

    Sending hugs