Tuesday, January 28, 2014

a rough day gives way to a good night...

I think the reward for conformity
is that everyone likes you except yourself.
- Rita Mae Brown

 I had a rough day at work today...
so rather than complain about it
and let the crappy day invade my quiet evening -
i thought i'd do something that centers me instead.
Something that grounds me
and calms my soul
and makes me feel like the world is ok again.
i had done this image a while back,
in pastel. (below)
I started this journal a while ago,
to give to my son on his 18th birthday,
in a couple of weeks
and i wrote in here tonight.
I kept lots of journals in my younger days
and somehow,
with all the moving around we did,
with deep regret
I lost them all.
i thought it would be cool
to give my son a glimpse into his childhood
from my perspective as a mom.
Had i known at the time
it would become filled with more than just writing -
i would have chosen a more appropriate journal. 
I started it when he was about 4 or 5
sort of record of his days,
what he loved doing
his favorite foods,
who his friends were,
and i quickly began adding things
and adding
and adding...
like this precious illustration
from one of his friends
when they were just little boys.
...or this invitation to a birthday party...
...or this card he made for us, for Christmas...
 ...or this one, that my mom gave him.
A grandmother reminding her grandson
how much she loved him
and believed in him.
(sniff, sniff...)
And so now,
the journal looks like this (below)
and i regret not having planned ahead. 
Still, i know he's going to cherish it
because he (like me) loves writing
and keeping little bits of paper around him. 
how fucking cool was this little guy?
A face only a mother could love?
I think not...
And then this precious writing
that i treasure more than anything...
My grandmother's writing (mom's mother).
I moved out to Western Canada when i was younger
and she often wrote me.
I kept her letters
and scanned this one line that reads:

Goodbye, from your grandmother
who will never forget you.

I'll be putting a copy of this
in my son's journal as well.
He never knew his great grandmother
but he would have loved her, no doubt.
Everyone did. :-)
Thanks for being here, munchkins.
love & lollipops, and a feel good song
to bring you warmth on this 
freezing winter night (for us!)


  1. That's just the sweetest! I don't think it matters how the journal looks like or how it's put together. I am sure your son will appreciate the content and that you did it.
    Glad you were able to leave work where it belonged. I often had problems doing that!

  2. What a fabulous gift for your son - what fun he will have pouring over the art and remembrances of his childhood and what a joy it will be for him to share with his children one day!! My husband bought four composition notebooks years ago and put our names on each one for all of us to record memories and kind thoughts of each other. We kept it up for a few months and then it dwindled away but the entries that are there have been read and reread. One of your amazing abstracts or maybe painting that picture of your son on the cover would make that notebook perfect - as is!

  3. What a fabulous gift for him. The closest I've come is the recipe books I made for my daughters with various recipes sourced from friends and family, some of whom are no longer here.
    A glass of wine and a paintbrush are sometimes the best antidote to work.

  4. Happy Birthday to your dear boy I'm sure it's long passed now!! I had those blue cards and loved them....My blog was started for the same reason...but evolved beyond my imagination!

    Such a wonderful treasure you created! Now buy another journal and write thoughts for you son....things you want him to know, things that may have more impact later....I bought my mom a grandmothers journal but she wrote nothing in it!!

    Thanks for always sharing your heart!!
    I am so perplexed at how I missed these posts....I have checked several times too....hmmmm

    Hugs Giggles