are we there yet?

hello world.

I’ve been thinking a lot about women lately.

About us.

About my mom.

And my grandmother…

I’ve been thinking about how far we’ve come

and how far we still have to go.

Since Trump became POTUS,

I’ve become far more cynical,

far less trusting,

far more awake,

far more determined

to take my place in this world

and to speak against injustice.

I’ve also become more angry.

But it’s a good kind of anger.

(yes, there is such a thing).

Years ago, in my early 20’s,

I bought myself a car -

an Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme.

Kinda like this one.

Does this look like the kind of car

a young, 5' woman

would want to drive?

No. I didn't think so either.

I was so proud of the fact

that I was making my own payments

and that eventually,

the car would be mine.

But more than anything,

I knew my dad would love the car,

so in reality - I bought the car partly to please him.

We had an outdoor gathering that summer,

and after I had parked the car there,

with my then boyfriend in the passenger seat,

I stepped out of the car,

and heard an older woman there ask me:

“why are you driving instead of your boyfriend?”

The question sounded so strange to me.

Why is he not driving?

Um, maybe because it’s MY FUCKING CAR?

(I didn't actually say this, but I thought it)

Why would I NOT be driving my own car?

She was from a generation of women

who gave their husbands the wheel

in more ways than one,

so seeing a man in the passenger seat

and a woman driving

made no sense to her.

She was from a generation of women

who let their husbands take charge

and they (the women) were expected

to sit quietly on the sidelines.

This whole Trump thing got me thinking

about how often women are dismissed

as ‘less important’ than men.

It got me thinking about how often

so many of us put up and shut up

rather than stand up and speak out.

It got me thinking about how often

I had to fend off comments of a sexual nature

from my “bosses” in the workplace

when I was in my early 20’s.

It got me thinking about why so many women

keep rape to themselves.

Why would they say anything,

when history has shown,

time and time again,

that the victim becomes the accused,

because she was wearing a skimpy skirt,

or because she drank too much,

or because she was asking for it,

and the accused is so often set free?

Then I saw the movie Maudie in theatres

a few weekends ago, and again,

I thought about how many women

had learned to stand in the shadows

of their husbands -

because they were taught to believe

that they belonged there.

They were taught to believe

that they themselves had no right

to stand in their own light.

And how this feeling of being treated

as less than another

gave birth to stronger women,

with soaring spirits,

and determined minds,

and a relentless and persistent

quest for truth and fairness.

This whole Trump thing has made me 

more of a feminist than ever before.

In a good way. :)

This is my grandmother (mom's mother).

Eva Doiron.

A colored pencil drawing I did of her years ago.

She raised 13 children

while she kept the home

and baked bread & cookies early in the morning.

She loved conversation and politics.

She may have dreamed of a different life,

but this is the one she lived.

And she did so with a smile on her face

and lots of love in her heart,

especially for children and the poor.

I'm willing to bet it wasn't always easy for her either.

And on that note, I'll leave you

with the trailer for another strong woman:

Maudie.