sea, sand and sky

Just a few recent photos

and words that I wrote back in 2008...

that still speak truth to me today.

I sit here
and watch the birds in flight
gracefully balancing themselves in space
against the strong, ferocious wind.
And I see freedom.

I watch as they wash
their snow white feathers
and glide with open wings on the wind
catching small fish as they are
rocked by the crashing waves.

There is a seagull close to me,
with both feet in a small puddle,
the wind ruffling his feathers
and he stands, and looks at me.
Like he wonders why I am here
on his turf, in his territory.

He is aware of me.
He slowly approaches with tiny bird steps.
He is alert
and every move I make is noticed.
This is life.
This is the point.
The connections.
The awareness.
The wind, the sea, the sky...

We complicate it so
by overlooking what really matters.
We concern ourselves too much
with money and things 
when they bring no riches
to the heart.
The birds and the ocean do.

what a difference a day makes

For after all, the best thing

one can do when it is raining

is let it rain.

- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

After i wrote my post yesterday,
I did a bit of yoga.
Then I enjoyed some coffee.
Then I wrote some more
and puttered around the house,
tending to things
that get neglected during the week.

I thought back at what i wrote yesterday
and felt a familiar guilt
about being so judgemental
of others who are on a 
different life path than I am.

Much of what i write here
is often written for ME.
My words may give you a boost
at the same time
but in all honesty,
they are meant for me first.
I write what i need to hear at the time.

If I am feeling frustrated
or angry or confused,
i write about it.
It helps me sort things out
in my own head
and sets me back
on the right path.
On my path.

So after writing that yesterday,
I made it a point
to find time during the weekend
to go for a walk
or do some yoga
or paint -
so that I would come back
to what matters to ME
and not focus so much
on what others are doing
or not doing
with their lives.

And lo and behold,
it rained,
so it was a near perfect day.
(I don't know an artist
who doesn't love a rainy day)

I even found some time
to go to the bookstore
and enjoyed a peach green tea lemonade
as i plunged into the
graphic novels & art section.

I came home feeling inspired
and relaxed
and peaceful
and much less judgemental
than I felt on Friday night.

I am trying to let go of things
that make me angry,
because in the end,
they matter very little
and they often get in the way
of finding my own peace of mind.
I still let things (or people)
make me more angry than i should,
but i'm getting better
at letting go now
a little sooner each time.
Eventually, I'll be flying
above everything.
:)
Thank you all
for being here.
Again.
xx

can you be more with less?

hello everyone!

Saturday morning.

Finally.

I was going to sit and paint something

or at least try

but I have too many words

flying around my head

and so, I am writing instead.

One day this week,

before going into work,

I stood in line for my morning coffee,

and as I looked around me,

everyone but one older man in the line

had their necks bent like giraffes

and were hopelessly scrolling

on their phones

for any small bit of information

or entertainment

that might make their lives

a little more interesting.

As I scanned everyone in line

(and there were at least 7 or 8 of us),

the old man’s eyes connected to mine

and for that brief moment,

I knew that he and I

were thinking the same thing.

I knew his mind in that moment

and he knew mine.

WHAT ARE WE ALL SEARCHING FOR?

And more importantly –

what

are

we

all

MISSING?

He smiled and I smiled

and we both went on our way.

I am past the mid-point in my work contract

and although it is smoother than last year,

I must admit that I am now counting the days.

I struggle with having so much less time

and energy for making art.

I struggle with the choice I made

to go back to such an environment.

I tell myself this is the last time

because it no longer serves me,

and when something no longer serves you,

you either let go

or be dragged.

I struggle with feeling so different

than most people I work with.

They are motivated by money.

I am not.

I am motivated by freedom.

They are not.

I work (temporarily) in an environment

where most people there have made

very good salaries for many years

and built up healthy pension plans.

Conversations there usually revolve around

expensive purchases,

food, trips to exotic places,

and money.

I sit there and hear the words

being thrown above my cubicle wall

and I wonder about their dreams.

Did any of them want to be landscapers

or bakers

or musicians

or poets

or race car drivers?

Did they sacrifice their dreams

for the sake of making money?

How many chose this path

because of the financial rewards

and the promise of a comfortable future?

(I would dare say most)

For 8 hours a day,

I am surrounded with people

who make a lot of money,

but seem worn out

or disconnected somehow.

They have designer clothes

but their bodies seem exhausted.

Not in a physical way,

but in a mental way.

Many are on sick leave,

or extended time off,

because they’ve “burned out”

one too many times.

Many choose to work overtime

because they don’t want to seem

any less ambitious than others

or they’ve come to depend

on that extra chunky paycheque.

Some are in counselling

because they have problems sleeping

or because they feel depressed.

It is an atmosphere of competition

and climbing the ladder

and jealousy and greed.

Not everyone there is greedy,

but many are.

Not everyone is competitive or jealous,

but many are.

Years ago, when I was young & naïve,

I used to envy those

who had more money than I did.

I know so much better now.

Some money is necessary and good

but the amount in your bank account

has nothing to do with your level of happiness

or peace of heart & mind.

If you have enough

for food and shelter,

and you are GRATEFUL for anything extra,

you are richer than most

and your heart should be at peace.

Regardless of where you are in life,

or what you have (or don’t have)

you should never feel any less

than someone who has more,

because the person who seems to have more

isn’t necessarily any happier

than the one who seems to have nothing.

Having more doesn’t mean

being more.

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

There.

I said it.

A long way to get to

a simple point, isn't it

:)

Happy weekend everyone.

xx

where did April go?

No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another. 

- Charles Dickens

The weekend is finally here.

My heart's a little heavy

with Mother's Day

just around the corner

and thoughts of all those people

in Fort McMurray (Alberta)

trying to escape the wildfires...

but i'm writing anyway.

These are the times

when writing is most important.

We so often hear

that material things don't matter -

but i can't help but think

of the things I treasure in my own home...

my photographs

and writings

and books

and paintings

and gifts my son made me

when he was in kindergarten

(yes, i still have them)

and letters and cards

from people I love.

I can't imagine losing

so many precious things

and the burden of

starting all over again

without anything that ties you

to who you were before the fire

except memories.

The past few weeks
have flown by for me
and the past few days
have been a bit of a blur.
It's a good thing I guess,
because that means July will be here soon
and I'll be done at work
and back to my drawing room
surrounded by things
that make me feel like me.

I am not practicing 
what I preach these days.
I'm the one who talks all the time
about the importance of making art
every day
and honestly,
i have not been living up
to my own words.

It's difficult these days
not only to find the time to paint
but to feel inspired to paint.

I sat in my blue room a few times,
shuffling paper here and there
and making a few scribbles.

I never force myself
to do much of anything.
I sometimes sit in my blue room
and while I may not make
a work of art,
if I spend 20 or 30 minutes
scribbling or doodling or sketching -
it was at least 30 minutes of
creative 'something'.
Creative 'something' is always better
than creative 'nothing'.
But oh, how I look forward to those nights
where it feels like my muse is dancing with me
in this little room of mine.

Doesn't this open seashell in the sand
look like an open heart?
or a little white hairdo? :)

Yoga is still part of my day,
although I've missed it a few days now.
I'm happy the weekend is here
so i can catch up with yoga
and painting
and just being here.

i liked doing this oil pastel
abstract leaf drawing...

And on one of those nights
where i didn't feel particularly creative,
I sat for a bit,
picked 2 sketchbooks 
and 2 acrylic colors,
and just put color on the pages.

The paint tube was just in front of me
so i did this quick little sketch
with chinese markers (black & white)

Then with the other page,
i scribbled this,
again, with chinese markers.
I like this one.

Not much of anything,

but one could say it looks like

trees lining a road...

right? ;)

A little sketch

on a different night,

of dad's van.

Yes, my father is 81 years old,

and he bought himself a hippie van.

Welcome to the funny farm. :)

Have a great weekend everyone!
xx