Wednesday, April 24, 2013

running on empty...

When we have passed a certain age,
the soul of the child we were
and the souls of the dead from whom we have sprung
come to lavish on us their riches and their spells...
- Marcel Proust (In search of lost time)

hello friends.
It's been a while. :-)

I've been feeling the need to disconnect lately,
so i am giving myself the time i need
to get off the ride now and then.

Too many people out there are running on empty.

A good friend recently told me
that many of us out there are feeling this need lately,
that there is a shift of energy in the world.
Who knows.

I only know that when i feel this way,
i honor the feeling and give myself what i need.

Too many of us don't give ourselves the time we need
because we feel it's lazy,
or because we're told it's selfish,
or because we believe that needing a time out
means we're weak...
unable to deal with life's difficulties.

And for some of us with different reasons,
time to ourselves is a luxury we can't afford.

I believe my "time outs" now and then
are what allow me to deal with life's difficulties
and make sense of the world.

Although many things lately still have me scratching my head...

Educated, intelligent men killing in the name of religion.

Families disowning one another.

The Boston Marathon bombing (and any other bombing happening out there)

Honor killings. (there is nothing honorable about killing. Anyone. Ever.)

CEO's with outrageous salaries. 

Televangelists = ditto.

Science and religion still arguing over who's right.

Teachers with ridiculously low salaries.

Baby pageants. Actually, all pageants. 

Why so many people are filled with such hatred.

Why so many people are still so insecure about themselves.

People who try to keep up with the Jones'...
(living a life way above their needs so they can say they've been to Hawaii too!)

...and most reality shows. ;-)

Oh, and TLC.

I didn't get the memo that said The Learning Channel
would now become the Mentally Ill Channel.

Just a few of the things that irritate the hell outa me.
Thank you for reading my rant. :-)

Sometimes, it's just hard to be in the world.
Especially if you are sensitive.
(yup, that would be me...)

There's been very little art for me these days.

I always find those dry periods a little rough -
those days where i don't feel much like being near my art table.
But i also know that these breaks are necessary for me. 

I almost always go in waves...

i've made art a habit, just like my morning walks
so whenever i go a few days without creating something
i definitely feel out of sorts - like something is missing.

So when i finally sit myself at the art table again
like last night (for the first night in many)...
my heart literally breathes a sigh of relief
and i'm home again. :-)

Thanks for being here with me.

it's an Alanis Morissette kinda day today...


  1. Beautiful truthful post. And your work, as always, breathtaking ....

  2. Thank you for sharing your made me feel "more" and not "less". Starting with the quote from Proust -- which defines for me where I am right now, at this point in my life.

    Taking a break and a breather also makes sense to me -- sometimes we need that fresh air in order to keep breathing.

    And what you said about TLC becoming the Mentally Ill Channel made me shout out "yes!!!"

  3. I found you via the lovely Sherry who posted a link to your blog. And I am so glad she did. I too can relate to these feelings. Helps me and others to not feel so lost.

    And what you wrote about TLC made me nod my head and laugh!! So true!!! What a mess! lol


  4. I love your abstract. It reminds me of peacocks. Your journal pages make such a great illustration of your rant. I totally agree about TLC. Blech.

  5. I totally feel guilty at times having space for art and then a girlfriend and fellow artist will give my permission and make me realise I deserve that time! I loved this post and your art is stunning always so fresh and vivid.

  6. I believe we all need that quiet time to think, reflect, or quietly just breathe. For me it seems to happen each Friday. I have learned to honor that time and enjoy the moment.

    I love the beautiful colors in this piece. I too saw the peacock and kept going back to look at her.

  7. I started out saying an emphatic "Exactly" to your rant!! But you left me crying to Alanis's song!!You have an amazing soul so full of love...we all need a break at times in order to regenerate, connect with nature and just be!!

    Gorgeous artwork...just amazing... You always inspire.... thank you for saying the world is changing... I thought I was the only one saying it!

    Hugs Giggles

  8. Your posts often resonate so well with my current feelings or experiences at the time, Pauline. Uncanny! I so get what you're saying and I agree with the rant too. I don't think we have The Learning Channel here but I get the gist of your meaning.

    I've never been a pageant fan, especially for baby/toddler/young kids. Aren't we all beautiful?? Who defines what is beautiful for these pageants? It has never made any sense to me.

    Sometimes, we need to disconnect from this crazy world for the sake of our own sanity.

    As you know, I LOVE your art. In these pieces the colours are what draw me in first...gorgeous combinations!

    I'm a huge Alanis fan so I thoroughly enjoyed the clip, thanks!

    Enjoy the rest of your week and have a wonderful weekend. xo

  9. Another great post. I love visiting you here. Yes, sometimes life is just plain hard. I am very's sometimes wonderful, such as when I deal with all of my young students. It's sometimes way too hard to cope...I guess I do wear my heart out on my sleeve. Your art is beautiful. It feels freeing.

  10. whenever I come here I see and hear what i need to see and hear. I love the song, the painting, the sketchbook and your "rant". Namaste.

  11. Love your little rant and I couldn't agree with you more! Love your artwork as well, very beautifull.

  12. Hello Pauline, so happy to see you're back and sharing your lovely art and thoughts. Empty, quiet time is essential to all, it calms and steadies us, good for you, enjoy when needed! xx

  13. Sometimes I think I am the only one who feels and thinks the way that I do - and then I read your posts and find other kindred souls. Thank you.

  14. this touched me so deeply... in so many ways. Your art symbolizes the perfection of life and its cycle.

  15. As I'm currently catching up on your thoughtful post almost a week later you can image where my energy levels have been as well. I'm kinda glad to hear I'm not the only one feeling this way. Maybe we're all just getting wiser. Knowing when to take a breather. And thanks for the reminder as to why I don't have cable!! Hope your quiet time brings you the strength that you're needing xoxo